May 1, 2012

Perspective STOP messing with me!

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
― John Lubbock
Um Dayo's comment got me thinking and it also reminded me that I had the above graphic saved somewhere in my computer. I'm acutally in the process of starting new habits and it feels awesome. I want my life to be productive, to stand for something to have benefited others but more importantly my habits are atrocious and its not the kind of legacy I'd want to pass on to my children.

My toddlers are at a point where they mimic everything I say and do and I need to be presentable. I know when growing up "do as I say not as I do" didn't work and I don't have hopes it will work for my children either so my approach with my kids is "do as I say and as I do."

I was WILDLY unprepared for responsible gainful adulthood. I can survive, that's all I learned. I'm pretty confident that I can be dropped anywhere on Earth (minus the two poles) and I know I can survive and wont starve or resort to prostitution. Alhamdulillah. However, when it comes to managing my finances, social skills, running a home or any other skills needed to function in 'civil' society I am like a bull in a china shop.

Despite my moms abuse I think she did the best she could under the circumstances and the fact that I didn't go hungry or homeless while in her care speaks volumes for her.  Well, technically we went homeless this one time but she had resolved it by the end of the day so I don't count it. I want to do better for my children, I don't want them to struggle as young adults with basic life skills. I want them to enjoy life, to have a fulfilling life and to be productive members of society. inshaAllah.

I'm homeschooling my kiddos (they are 3 and 1) and since they are young it involves mostly playing. What has been amazing though is the transformation I've had since becoming a mother a few years ago. For starters I rarely had a steady meal now I'm cooking and ALL my meals are chock full of VEGETABLES! say what?! Because I want them to have a healthy relationship with veggies we go to the supermarket/farmers market and they help me chose them. My son (3) is really good at picking great vegetables mashaAllah. Before having kids I would go whole YEARS barely taking a sip of water and getting most of my hydration from sodas and juices. Eeek!! I can't believe I ever wondered WHY I would end up in the hospital with almost total renal failure every semester. Now I drink almost a gallon of water a day and my toddlers drink  it like its no problem. I'm now exercising more because I want them to have a healthy and active lifestyle and my children join me in my workouts.  I'd say my heart has always been soft but my children have made me even more compassionate and loving. Over all having children has made me a better person and has made me WANT to be be a better person. ALHAMDULILLAH.

I like the person I'm becoming.


Candice said...

It's true, we have to look at things from different angles to see that we are often in a pretty good place. It's great how far you've come with motherhood, what a blessing :)

.::Tuttie::. said...

@Candice. It is a blessing and its a good thing I wrote this post because today I'm burnt out and needed a reminder of how good it has been so I don't spiral into "MY LIFE SUCKS" melodrama.

Because it doesn't I just need perspective and its ok to be tired. :)