May 7, 2012

Depression

As Salaamu Aalaykum,
I think maybe I should get checked by a doctor or get out more. One or the other. I think I've been depressed most of my life but didn't notice it because the abuse was far more painful.  For the last 6 years that I've been abuse free and there is no physical pain to muffle my feelings I've been noticing it more and more.

I mentioned it to my husband and he was concerned with the possible side effects of anti-depression medication since one of them is thoughts of suicide and a few people (actually more than a few) have committed suicide while on those medications. He's afraid. Technically my depression is manageable and its not severe for the benefits of the medication to outweigh the nasty side effects. A part of me wants to beat depression because I feel that the abusers are still 'winning' because I'm still dealing with their aftermath

On a similar note, I get these genius ideas followed by a serious dip in depression. Its like the price for these ideas IS a dip in depression. Know what I mean? That kind of tax sucks.

I don't know, maybe I shouldn't be blogging when am in one of those moods. It also sucks to have HUGE and awesome ideas and not have the man power or money to fully see it through. Anyway, inshaAllah tomorrow is a new day and I'll feel better bi'ithnillah.


Wa Salaam


6 comments:

Andahlucya. said...

Pre-salvation I used to go deep dipsy dumping with the devil,but now I'm constantly upbeat.

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

I would be concerned about the medications as well. A lot of studies have shown SSRI's to be largely ineffective with side effects worse that the depression itself.
There is also a lot of evidence that Niacin can also be used to safely treat depression in large doses with virtually no side effects. The reason it isn't supported or talked about by Drs is because there is no economic benefit to them or big pharma.
I sincerely hope that you're able to find some sort of solution.

.::Tuttie::. said...

@Stacy. Thanks will look in to that. InshaAllah this is a means of expiation for me. Life is a wheel sometimes you are on top and sometimes at the bottom. :) Alhamdulillah

Candice said...

My uncle was having pain-related depression and thenfirst medication he went on did make him feel much more depressed and he has admitted to us thinking of suicide at some point but his new one is helping him... Thank God. How scary it is.

I haven't dealt with this so it might be bad to say but if you can't find something to help after a while might it not be an idea to try a medication? Especially since you and your husband are conscious of side effects and will be able to recognize it if it happens? Only you know if the possibility of not being depressed is worth the risk of going through a period of worse depression...

I really hope and will pray that a more natural method will work. Don't feel like anyone is winning over you because of depression. It's just not true and has nothing to do with your strength as a person.

Salma @ Chasing Rainbow said...

Salam Tuttie. I'll make dua for you. I stopped meds in 2007 and haven't looked back. Post-partum was hard for me both times (2009/2010), but alhamdullelah, I made it through.

I suggest youw rite in a private journal..it helps me alot.

Salam alaikum.

Laila said...

Assalamu alaikum sister, I'd suggest u not to take the medication. the progress will be worse.u will feel better but actually the 'bad' feeling is worse than before taking the drug. Try alternative medicine instead. Hijama is the best. Then acupunture and massage. Medication should be the last option for treating depression. Wake up at night and speak to Allah more and more. Just let everything out. Tell HIM everything. ensha Allah u will be calmer. Take care!

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