I stuck my foot so far in my mouth I don't know how to untangle myself. I hurt one of my inlaws by being too frank with them. I thought I was 'keeping it real' but maybe it was just keeping it rude. :(
I spoke to her the way I want someone to speak to me, she was being delusional. My first tactic was to avoid this conversation for MONTHS by sugar coating my words or by just saying "pray istikhara and go with that." She took offense to that and demanded I be real with her and when I was she wont talk to me now. She started coming up with excuses to why we can't get together, stopped answering my calls and right now we are in a class together and is staying far, far, far away. I got the message so I am staying away from her as well, no use forcing myself on someone who clearly doesn't want me around.
My mom told me growing up to never get involved in married people's issues as the next day,they makeup and you end up looking the fool. KNOWING this I decided to get involved and bam I screwed up. Should have continued to sugar coat my words. I am an idiot.
Anyway, now my feelings are hurt because it looks like I am being punished since we have a lot of friends in common and they are giving me their salaams from far but wont come close. They have known her since birth and I only became Muslim 5 yrs ago so I understand their loyalty and don't blame them. Its not even subtle
I am hurt but in a way I guess I deserve it. Should have had more mercy in my speech when I spoke to her. Her reality and what I had to say were a hard pill to swallow and kindness would have gotten me farther.
LESSON LEARNED AND ARCHIVED....