June 5, 2011

I Screwed Up...BIG

I stuck my foot so far in my mouth I don't know how to untangle myself. I hurt one of my inlaws by being too frank with them.  I thought I was 'keeping it real' but maybe it was just keeping it rude. :(

I spoke to her the way I want someone to speak to me, she was being delusional. My first tactic was to avoid this conversation for MONTHS by sugar coating my words or by just saying "pray istikhara and go with that." She took offense to that and demanded I be real with her and when I was she wont talk to me now. She started coming up with excuses to why we can't get together, stopped answering my calls and right now we are in a class together and is staying far, far, far away. I got the message so I am staying away from her as well, no use forcing myself on someone who clearly doesn't want me around.

My mom told me growing up to never get involved in married people's issues as the next day,they makeup and you end up looking the fool. KNOWING this I decided to get involved and bam I screwed up. Should have continued to sugar coat my words. I am an idiot.

Anyway, now my feelings are hurt because it looks like I am being punished since we have a lot of friends in common and they are giving me their salaams from far but wont come close.  They have known her since birth and I only became Muslim 5 yrs ago so I understand their loyalty and don't blame them.  Its not even subtle

I am hurt but in a way I guess I deserve it. Should have had more mercy in my speech when I spoke to her.  Her reality and what I had to say were a hard pill to swallow and kindness would have gotten me farther. 


LESSON LEARNED AND ARCHIVED....

3 comments:

♥ααℓiα♥ said...

Awwww this happened to me too a while back... A friend was having marriage issues so I told her in a very blunt manner to "make up her mind" about staying with the Brother or not... Next thing I know she is avoiding me but it didn't affect me since most of her friends were my friends in the beginning LoL But I can understand you feeling hurt and being the odd one out :-( InshaaAllah things will turn out okay and this little mishap will be forgotten!!

.::Tuttie::. said...

after the class she came to apologize and she explained why she was staying away.

I accepted but I am still hurt, I rather give both of us some time away from each other.

@Al, she original was OFFENDED that I thought so little of her that I needed to sugar coat the truth. When I gave he the truth it got worst.

@Aalia. It got better towards the end and she said that she wasn't hurt because of what I said or how I said it but rather she wasn't ready to hear at the time.

Xo Xo...Sweet Success! said...

Sounds like something I would do. I do it all the time. I'm the biggest social retard ever! Keep your chin up, suck it in and get on with it, that's what I keep telling myself after I have one of my foot in mouth moments!

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