January 31, 2011

in case of DELETION go here :)

so I loose track of people and am tired of it and I am prone to deleting importance things by accident...this blog was almost deleted a couple of times.  In the even that I do I would like to continue talking to y'all. 


THANK GOD! the software I use requires you to click on deletion and then type in DELETE. So at least this will be safe.

January 25, 2011

i you can sit, you can get fit!

you know I would buy this because it seems fun but am pretty sure it will break by the weekend. The ingenuity of people never fails to impress me. Just go out and exercise its a lot cheaper.

EDIT: this comment HAD to be added. TOO FUNNY!!
Could you imaging dropping a file on the floor, bending over in your chair to pick it up and having the chair “hula” your head into the desk non stop until you fall off of it … BAM BAM BAM!

They'de need a new Jingle.

“Now You Can Get Fit – With Your Cranium Split … the Hawaii Chair”


January 24, 2011

How to avoid the Muslm Sex tape....

if you want to save yourself follow the following simple instructions...
Hijab Life: Muslimas your webcam is spying on YOU!: "You have that shiny new laptop with all the bells and whistles including a webcam and you are all like, "ama be a youtube star!" Hold your horses...."

January 23, 2011

Why didn't they say something?

I am reading about the Prophet (Sallahu Aalayhi wa Salaam) and I am in AWE of him. MashaAllah. I am reading his physical description, his mannerism etc. etc. and it has given me a deeper understanding of him. I got to the question about Aisha (ra) and I accepted it before since there was CLEARLY some wisdom in that choice since many ahadeeth are narrated through her and she was one of the leading jurists of her time. mashaAllah.

Besides reading Shama'il Tirmidhi I am attending the Al Maghrib "The Prophet's Smile" and although I missed yesterday's class I will make it today inshaAllah.  I was reading the notebook accompanying the class and came across this

Doubt #2 Why was 'Aisha (ra) so young?
"Firstly, it should be pointed out that this contention was never raised by any of the early critics of the Prophet (saw). Rather, it is an allegation that became notorious post-enlightenment. Thus, had there been the smallest hint of impropriety, the early critics of the prophet (saw) would have definitely raised this contention.

Secondly, not only was it customary in Arabia to get married at the age of puberty, but it was customary in the Christian western world as well. Here are some examples:

Imam al-Shafii said, "during my stay in Yemen, I have come across girls who began menstruation at the age of nine." -Siyar A'lam Al-Nubala10/91

Imam al-Bayhaqi narrated that Imam al Shafi said, "I have seen in the city of Sana'a a grandmother while she was twenty one. She menstruated at the age of nine and gave birth at the age of 10."  -Sunan al Bayhaqi al-Kubra': 1/319

Ibn al-Jawzi narrated similar stories from Ibn 'Uqail and 'Ubad al Mahlby -Tahqeeq Fi ahadith al-Khilaf 2/267

It is also narrated that the companion 'Abdullah bin 'Amr bin al-'As became a grandfather at the age of 23 or 26.

In Greek and Roman literature, many citations can be found of women getting married at puberty.

In our times, the state of Alabama and New Hampshire allow a girl of age 13 and 14 to marry with guardian consent.

It is also important to note that at no point in time was any discontent showed from 'Aisha (ra), but rather she loved the Prophet (saw) dearly.  This is manifested in the fact that, with her sharp and intelligent mind, she went on to become one of the five top narrators of hadith from all the Companions.  This alludes to the greater wisdom behind this marriage as well. Lastly, it is important to note that just because we are unable to perceive and fathom maturity at such young ages (due to the times in which we live, where at 17, one is still considered a minor and unaccountable for one's actions), it does not mean that it did not previously exist.  Thus, it is clear that claims that such wives were too young are baseless, and it is rather just a case of difference of place and time.

Didn't necessarily need such a long response but hey it added to my belief so am cool with it.  Just wanted to share since I benefited from it. Alhamdulillah.

wa salaam!

January 21, 2011

Men and Logic is there such a thing?

She's a very kinky girl,
The kind you don't take home to mother,
She will never let your spirits down,
Once you get her off the street, Ow girl...
That girl is pretty wild now,
...*The girl's a super freak*,
The kind of girl you read about,

chick sounds like a health risk...I don't know. Men just confuse me with their logic...or is there such a thing for them when dealing with the opposite gender?

January 20, 2011

Mental BLEACH!!!

I was watching Modern Family's "Caught in the Act" episode and left me laughing my butt off and grimacing at the same time.  What did I take away from killing 21 minutes of my time? BUY A LOCK for your bedroom so you don't scar you children for life.

I think children can live without EVER seeing their parents doing it. EWW! EWW! EWW! As soon as we have our own apartment my son who is now 27 months will be getting his own room. I think the cutoff date for each child will also be 27 months MAX. I LOVE co-sleeping with my children but I think 3 yrs old is a bit too old to still be in our bed. Ideally I would have weaned him at 24 months but we are living in a room in the in laws house so that wasn't happening.

Also as I am getting used to this parenting thing, disciplining and setting boundaries ISN'T that hard.  Sure the kids test you but they are TODDLERS and they NEED boundaries set my an adult. Be fair and consistent.  Now the teenage years are a whole different story and I hope the foundation we are laying down now will make it easier for us to parent.  I feel that you either put in the time NOW when they are young and establish a relationship of trust and respect or you try doing it LATER when its harder and they have more outside influences.

ps don't hate...make du'a for me.  May Allah swt give me the wisdom to  parent my children correctly. ameen.

January 19, 2011

Show some compassion, Dammit!

I think when people around us loose their pets we don't show them enough compassion.  Its like we are constantly reminding them that there are WORST things happening like genocide, famines, tsunamis etc. etc.

Anas ibn-Malek (RA) said that the Prophet (SAWS) used to visit um-Sulaym[15] whose son was nicknamed abu-Omayr (i.e. father of Omayr). One time, The Prophet found him sad. He asked for the reason and was told that his small bird Nughayr [16] died. The Prophet (SAWS) then joked with him and said, “O father of Omayr! What did the Nughayr do?" [17]
The Prophet (SAWS) did not underestimate the feelings of loss and sadness which the little boy felt. He shared his feelings and even joked with him about it to cheer him up. Some may say that abu-Omayr was merely the brother of Anas (RA), who was serving the Prophet (SAWS). Yet that did not deter the Prophet (SAWS) from visiting his home, being kind to him, and learning of his news.
  Taken from HERE

Let's practice the sunnah, not just play lip service to it.

January 17, 2011

Quit embarrassing me!!

My daughter has been working on her vocal cords lately (she'll be 4 months tomorrow inshaAllah) and she sounds like an injured pterodactyl. Its embarrassing. Every so often my in laws come knocking wondering if I am either beating the poor girl or why am I ignoring her cries for help, love and attention. Or worst why am I laughing at her cries.  

I am not doing any of the above I am having a conversation with my daughter and she responds with shrieks.   She is having such a great time shrieking away. (btw she is on my lap "reading" what I am typing while simultaneously grabbing my arms and dragging them for her to suck and or bite on).

its only 1PM and concerned citizens have already checked in on my injured pterodactyl.  geez.

January 16, 2011

I have a daughter. OMG I HAVE A DAUGHTER!!

I mentioned I was going through my blog and found previous posts about having a girl...now am re-reading them now that I am a mother to a girl.
I was mainly afraid that I would have a girl. Not because girls are bad or because of any cultural hangup but because I was afraid she would get hurt. Life is so hard for girls. There is menstruation, rape, beatings, domestic violence, child birth, all the stigma of being the "weaker sex" but mainly because they get raped. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to protect her or that she would go through what I went through. I wanted to make du'a against having a girl but I have this belief that children regardless of whether they can speak or even understand DO feel feelings. They understand in their own way and if I was pregnant with a girl I didn't want her to feel unloved because I was in love with the child I was caring.  (from this post)
On some days I do make a lot more du'as for her than others because I don't want her to suffer. I want her to have a loving, peaceful and fitnah free life.  The du'a of the parent for their child is accepted right?  so inshaAllah she will be fine. inshaAllah. inshaAllah....She'll be fine right? 

She is going to be 4 months in 2 days and I am in awe of Allah's beautiful creation, His perfect system and her chunky little toes.  I am in love and I don't mind looking the fool to get that gummy smile (she has no teeth yet) by any means necessary.  I am still dealing with my trauma of my childhood and thanks to this pooping, vomiting, screaming bundle of joy I am reconnecting again with my feminine self.  When I took my shahada I started my recovery from the abuse and having my daughter has progressed my journey.

SubhanaAllah. Since being confronted with one of my fears I have healed exponentially. Its unbelievable the breakthroughs I have had these past couple of months. ALLAHU AKBAR! I trust Allah swt and everything that happens to me is not Him going out of His way to make me miserable.  I pray that I am not tested with difficulties though. AMEEN.

La ilaha ila Allah!

Posts I am referencing

In the case of 3 yr old Janaynay and Keshawn, Ken you are NOT! the father

‎"That baby dont look like me" - ken

got it from No Way Girl!

I am sorrry

as salaaamu aalaykum!

I am going through my whole blog and am loving the old me, depressed about certain goals that 2 yrs later I have STILL not achieved. :(  Anyway I was deleting some posts that might be considered backbiting thanks to Mai's blog post "is your blog a true friend?"  And I noticed I don't usually respond to comments. SORRY. I am SO  SORRY! I really do respond in my head but I either have to change diapers, nurse attend to hubby that I prepare a response in my head but forget to put it down.  Plus now with my 3 month old I have to nurse her (she is more demanding now, mashaAllah) and keep a toddler entertain.

I am very sorry for those who have left comments and I haven't replied. I am horrible. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!  I am slowly responding! sorry.  On the plus side re reading my blog was kinda cool (still not done because of the offspring) it reminded me of what was going on at that time and how I was coping. Sorta like my own time capsule.  InshaAllah it will continue to benefit me or at the very least not be detrimental to my dunya or akhira. AMEEN.

ps. I tried to make a stick figure niqabi that was pleading for forgiveness but instead got the hand all wavy and it looked like she was indeed doing the wave.  Soon after that "can't touch this dananna nana nana, can't touch this!" came in to my head and that was the end of the pleading niqabi and the birth of party niqabi.

pps. inshaAllah I will try to post more often!

January 15, 2011

Monogamy, its not for everyone.

Whether its online or offline I hear women and sometimes men (both Muslim and non Muslim) decry the allowance of polygamy in Islam.  Saying that a Just God would not allow such a thing because its demeaning to women.  I think when followed accordingly its a very Just and awesome institution.  I know that Allah swt hates injustice and has made it forbidden upon Himself. The polygyny I see around me most definitely does not resemble what Allah swt has made permissible nor what the Prophet (saw) and his companions (ra) practiced.

But that doesn't mean an institution should be ban simply because there is a possibility of abuse because human beings are so creative they can abuse just about everything.  From adopting children, becoming foster parents, dating etc., etc. and it would be insane to ban adoptions, ban foster parents and ban anything else that is abused.  Its kinda like a never ending cycle because whatever you ban people will find a way to get around it.

Anyway, on to the post.  Another thing I hear is that if God truly knew His creation He wouldn't allow such a monstrosity to exist.  Ok, I'll entertain that thought. Lets say for argument sake polygyny was indeed forbidden in Islam and the only allowable relationship was monogamy.

What would happen to a man who does INDEED have a strong libido? and please don't tell me that men don't, SOME DO.  Should he have his wife and his mistresses on the side?  Should he suck it up and stay with this one woman even though he is not happy, she knows it, the children know it.  So what then? 

What about a woman who cannot have children because she is unable to conceive and the man truly wants children of his OWN.  Should he divorce her and pursue his dream since he can only have one wife at a time? Or as women we would demand he stayed with his wife even though he would be unhappy.  I get a lot of feminist really pist off with this suggestion because they say it lowers women to the status of breeders.  But these same women believe a woman SHOULD pursue her dream of having children if it is her husband who is unable to conceive.  This also lowers men to the status of breeders and I believe that if men ONLY had one choice then women WOULD be lowered to a status of breeders vs non breeders.

Who would marry a woman like that if a man only had one slot?  Doesn't she deserve to have someone love her and take care of her?  Wouldn't it be unfair to the man?  It would also be detrimental to society if women were left out to dry like this as can be clearly seen when we abandon the sunnah in the Muslim majority countries.  In a perfect world she would find a man she finds attractive and desirable to take care of her in a monogamous setting.  In a perfect world men would keep their promises and not change their minds so often.  We don't live in a perfect world and despite what some men will say to get their way, there is always that possibility of him wanting some in the future.  HE is only human, his desires, likes and dislikes change over time.  And if he does indeed change his mind later but he loves his wife and wouldn't want to divorce her and take away her status as a wife but he wants children that leaves him and his wife in limbo doesn't it?  You can always count on people wanting choices and not being limited. 

What about women who positively DO NOT want to have children shouldn't they be married?  if we lower women to the status of breeders most men would pass on her.  Marriage in Islam encompasses much more than just procreation, it is important to the deen, to raising healthy families, its halal companionship that will catapult them in to jannah or hellfire...

What about women who don't want to deal with their husbands every day and prefer to have it both ways?  Have the companionship of a man, the status and comforts that come with that and keep their independence?  Like being FREED from him on certain days so she could be herself and not have to worry about ANYTHING or feel the pressure that she has to be his be-all end-all. 

What about the women who are in love with married men?  If he is not allowed to marry her then she will only become a mistress without rights, her children wont be recognized or inherit from their father.  Would the fact that he cannot go through in a halal manner stop him? probably not since most of us fall victim to our nafs on a daily basis but we hold others to incredibly high standards.  There is no halal solution for him or her.

As a Latina I see this A LOT in my community (happens in every community but my experience is with my own).  I see wives tormented wondering if every time their husband are going out they are cheating with their mistresses. I see mistresses looked down upon by the community as sluts, I see children not recognized and go fatherless. I have seen men try to give these women status and fail. I have seen men relish this situation because they don't have to assume responsibility. After all, she is a slut for wanting to be loved and taken care of by the man of her choosing. How fair is that to her?  Would there ever be a dignified future for her?

btw In my community back in El Salvador there wasn't a single marriage where men were faithful to their monogamous vows.  In the Latin community in the USA I came across ONE family where the husband had not cheated on his wife and sadly it wasn't my mother's marriage to my stepfather.  ALL of my moms friends knew of their husband indiscretions and also children from the women they were STILL seeing and although it was a bitter pill to swallow they had come to terms with it.  It was actually the first thing they talked about when they got together. However, you try to give these men and women a halal option that would force these men to be accountable to Allah and provide status to all the women and children involved and they revolt.  As long as he can't marry the b*tch, they were ok.

What about widows with children?  and I HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! When people say "lets support her financially" a woman is not a charity case. She is a woman with needs, expectations and fancies.  Her libido does not die and get buried when her husband dies.  She deserves to start a life however she pleases either being in a monogamous setting or in a polygamous setting and be recognized.

We need rules and not everyone will be happy with the outcome 100% of the time. I think Islam gives humanity options, option to be monogamous or polygamous with restrictions.  We need to be aware that whenever we look at something it is tainted by our own views due to our upbringing or our society's standard and therefore we need to step back and realize Allah swt is a Just and forgiving and if we don't understand it then we need to take a closer look. Ask Allah swt to clarify the matter for you and give you understanding of the deen. 

If monogamy was the only relationship allowed the argument you would hear from the same people who think polygyny is just plain wrong.
WELL, If Allah swt truly knew His creation, He would know that whims and desires of His creation and that some people are not equipped to handle monogamy.  A Just God would not force people in to a ONE SIZE FITS ALL situation and expect them to be happy.
So the real issue after this long post is that their problem is not polgyny. Its really with Allah swt as the only Lord, Islam as a religion and Muhammad (saw) as the Messenger.

{edit} Knowing His creation Allah swt gives us ways out of our indiscretions with halal alternatives (monogamy, polygamy, divorce etc.). Instead of living in sin and fall further victim to our desires He gave us options.  Whether we like them or not, whether we practice them properly or not. The options are there and we will held accountable for partaking in them on the day of Judgment.

Make du'a for our brothers, sisters and friends in Australia!

Brisbane, Australia's third-largest city, is bracing for massive flooding amid rising river levels and heavy rains.  The Brisbane river is expected to rise 5.5 metres above its normal level by Thursday.  Tens of thousands of residents have been asked to move out after sandbagging their homes and stockpiling food.

May you, your family and friends be saved from this calamity and are able to rebuild your lives. AMEEN.  May Allah swt have mercy on us all and grant us expiation for our sins. AMEEN.

ps. Strengthen the ummah make du'a!

pps. Brazil, UK and Sri Lanka also had flooding, keep them in your du'as as well.

January 14, 2011

I See Death Squads...

the following statement about Tunisia's current turmoil sent me in to a small panic attack and I'll explain why.
The state of emergency decree bans more than three people from gathering together in the open, and imposes a night-time curfew. Security forces have been authorised to open fire on people not obeying their orders. read more
 that is EXACTLY what happened in El Salvador during the civil war that ended in 1993 (the year I escaped).  These death squads patrolled the streets and anyone caught out after 6 was shot dead.  They also used to drag people out of their homes and shoot them in the streets.  *shudder* The streets were littered with bodies, mothers crying for their fallen children, women raped and executed, children witnessing all of this. YA ALLAH! Ya Allah! Ya Allah!  Not again, ya Allah not again.  Have mercy on my brothers and sisters all over the world. Please grant them affiyah in their affairs and this dunya.

Ya Allah! grant my Tunisian brothers and sisters JUSTICE, please keep them safe from the injustice of the unjust.  Grant them a just ruler. AMEEN.

They say security forces I see death squads.

January 13, 2011

would LOVE to win this home but....

I am a HUGE fan of HGTV's programming and LOVE their annual Dream Home Sweepstakes. Every year since 2006 I have dreamt about winning it and for the duration of the contest I dream. I dream about what I would do with the money or the house.

SELL it! 
NO! KEEP it! 
I DON'T KNOW! Stop asking me!

yeah, its good to dream.  This year I entered like I always enter and for the first time I am actually making du'a I DON'T win it.  Weird but after doing research on past winners and the vitriol said about them. Its NOT worth it.  If they were calling FOUL on a Katrima survivor winning the house and money in 2010, imagine what would be said if a MUSLIM wins it? and a NIQABI at that.  With the current state of affairs of political nastiness, people firing in to a crowd, attempting to kill a congresswoman and killing a 9 yr old and a federal judge instead.  The rampant Islamophobia, opposition to the community center NEAR ground zero as well as all the other masajid around the country.  Oh, and lets not forget Europe's fascination with banning the niqab as well as our Canadian neighbors.

If people were already suspecting that the contest was rigged AND they were mad that one person didn't show enough gratitude, that another didn't deserve it because he already owned a home or that a Katrina survivor with an autistic adult son were chosen, I think they would riot if I won.  I fit too many hot topic issues a Muslim woman, who wears niqab, who is a latin immigrant and a stay at home mom.  People get angry when they feel they were not playing on an equal footing and then to have it go to a member of a group that its ok to be racist against is just too much. 

I think some crazy might attempt to burn the house down because a Muslim doesn't deserve it or down right attempt to take the winner's life.  I am still dreaming though, it is  a pretty house and I love real estate just that from today on I wont be entering anymore (there are 35days left to the contest).   Anyone entering?

ps. I like to browse online real estate postings to see the inside of homes, how it was decorated, pricing strategy and s on.  SO this Dream Home with 360* views and unlimited pictures is a wet dream for a real estate stalker like me....also adds to my terror of some crazy knowing the EXACT schematics and blue print.

{EDIT} my tap water is usually pretty good but after some work it is giving me FOUL smelling water so am drinking gatorade lemon lime and UGH it taste like salty water.  EWW! Alhamdulillah that  I had and soon inshaAllah will have clean water again.  Didn't appreciate it until it was gone.  

{EDIT} LET ME DREAM! This is an elaborate dream in my head so don't kill it!  They can't take my dreams! 

taking pictures of hijabs is harder than it looks

for the last couple of days I have been working on photographing and setting up hijabs for sale and OMG is it difficult. First I tried it just wrapping it  on a dress form mannequin and it looked like a plain o' scarf.  Then I tried all kinds of creative ways but it still ended up looking like a scarf.  Finally had to dish out a couple of dollars to buy a head mannequin fell in love with one that reminded me of a flapper from the 20's but I could already hear the army of haraam police on their way.  but dang was she a cutie!

I grudgingly bought a plain gold and white shiny head mannequins and like magic scarves became hijabs. YEAH BABY! I decided that my plain white wall would do just fine as a background but boy was I mistaken.  Photoshop was not very friendly towards my clearly amazing pictures.  :(  SO I then tried to get fancy with a "green screen" aka green towel...yeah its like that.  It worked until my toddler moved my lights.  Now I am spending just as many minutes trying to remove the background as I was with the plain white wall. 

All awesome hijab picture taking experts...I salute you.  AND if you would like to share some insights with me that would totally be awesome!

ps....will need to photograph all 160 something hijabs.  not cool

January 9, 2011

Reminds me of simpler times....chinita ;)

Reminds me of my childhood...the happier times.
En un bosque de la china la chinita se perdió
como yo andaba perdido nos encontramos lo dos
En un bosque de la china la chinita se perdió
como yo andaba perdido nos encontramos lo dos
Era de noche y la chinita
tenía miedo miedo tenía de andar solita
anduvo un rato y se sentó
junto a la china junto a la china me senté yo
y yo que si y ella que no
y yo que si y ella que no
y al cabo fuimos y al cabo fuimos
y al cabo fuimos de una opinión
bajo el cielo de la China
la chinita se sentó
y la luna en ese instante
indiscreta la besó
luna envidiosa
luna importuna
tenía celos celos tenía de mi fortuna

does anyone lese think its a little bit racist?

January 8, 2011

Vote & Help Al Amaanah Receive a $25,000 Grant from Pepsi!

Vote & Help Al Amaanah Receive a $25,000 Grant from Pepsi!

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Peace be with you السلام عليكم

VOTE FOR AL AMAANAHACause: Al Amaanah 25k Pepsi grant
Objective: to vote 4x a day for the duration of January 2011 so Al Amaanah wins the grant! (inshaAllah)
Summary: Pepsi has selected an Al Amaanah project as a potential for receiving a $25,000 grant. For our selected project, we want to help a group of refugees (ages 9-15 year olds) by entering them into an After School Program. We need funds to transport them every day after school safely. We need your help to make it successful.


There are 4 ways to vote. YES FOUR! Alhamdulillah with your help we can help Al Amaanah win the Pepsi Refresh 25K grant and all you have to do is to vote and pass this post on to your friends and family!

Vote Online: Go to http://www.refresheverything.com/refugees. This will take you to the Al Amaanah Pepsi voting page. Click "Vote for this Idea". Register once and then you are all set.

DOUBLE our votes by voting on Facebook: HERE You will see the Al Amanaah project below the search bar. Click "Vote for this Idea". If you do not see the project, "type REFUGEE" into the search bar. You must allow the application first.

TRIPLE our votes by Texting your Vote: Text 105151 to Pepsi (73774) (Normal text rates apply).

QUADRUPLE our votes by voting on an iPhone, iPod Touch, or iPad using the Pepsi app! (Download it here).

If you need help reminding you to vote sign up below and we will send ONE email out a day with the above instructions!


*THIS FORM IS ONLY FOR VOTING REMINDERS ONCE A DAY FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE CONTEST* Pink Anonymous does not sell, share or rents any information collected for the purpose of this drive and other Pink Anonymous drives.

ps. DON'T forget to make du'a as well as nothing can be done without the mercy and permission of Allah swt.

January 7, 2011

Hijab Life: SOLID Colored Pashmina style hijabs

Hijab Life: SOLID Colored Pashmina style hijabs: "UPDATE: Still working on my store so I will post some of my stock here. These SOLID color pashmina style hijab with modest proportions is ..."

Alhamdulillah I finally have my hijab stock but am still working on the store and taking pictures. Apparently its harder than it looks. Make du'a for me! JazakAllah khayran. ")