September 5, 2010

Toxic

Alhamdulillah I live in an almost fitnah free environment.  I am not exposed to extensive backbiting or other detrimental behavior either from my in laws (immediate) or my friends.  Maybe its because of this that when I do encounter it  (mainly online) it feels like someone smacked me, punched me and threw cold water on me.  

The fitnah people start just because they can or in the ruse of self expression is enormous. SubhanaAllah there is this sister who I accepted a friend request from because we have similar backgrounds and what not (plus she kept trying to add me even after I kept refusing it) is ticking me off.  Why ask a controversial question that is a wedge issue among Muslim women and then get offended when given an answer is beyond me.

There really was no benefit in the rhetorical question whatsoever.  It was insulting enough for those committing the alleged transgression to dig in their heels and refuse to reform and at the same time it gave a self righteous platform for others (who GLADLY took advantage of it).  It was just awful behavior on display.  We are in the last 10 nights of Ramadan why not focus on productive things or actions that will take you to jannah?  I stand by my belief that life is like a wheel, sometimes you are on the top but as long as the car keeps moving you will eventually end up on the ground, possibly being smeared in to the mud.  So why act all self righteous?  What if Allah swt tests you with what the people you are ridiculing were tested? 

I removed her from my friends list because even though I have NEVER met the chick she brings so much drama to my online world.  The only reason I would even attempt to keep such a toxic person nearby is if I was emotionally invested in her (like a friend in need), someone I grew up with or family members.  Seeing as she is neither I deleted her.  

Anyway, I am eternally grateful at the sisterhood I have been offered by my blog readers on this blog, my other blogs and on facebook.  I am grateful to the awesome women I have met offline who exemplify the Islamic code of ethics, manners and sisterhood.  I thank Allah swt that I was not afflicted with worst things.  I thank Allah swt that I am as healthy as I can possibly be, that I am in a safe relationship, that I have shelter, food, drink and love.  I thank Allah swt for all the good I have been blessed with and I ask Allah swt to forgive me for my shortcomings. ameen.


ps. SubhanaAllah. the fact that I felt the need to post on here about it is annoying enough for me to implement a zero tolerance  policy with fitnah.  Its draining and unproductive.

pps. This not only applies to Muslim women as I have had non Muslim women bring as much fitnah in to my life as well as offering me their friendship and treating me like family.  I don't believe in the Muslim women vs Non Muslim women bit.  We are all humans and as such subjected to the human condition its flaws and awesomeness.  As a Muslim you should know better because you have guidance and direct orders on how to treat your fellow human being.


May Allah swt give us all hidayah. ameen.

2 comments:

Iman (Lifes Balance Beam) said...

Salmualaikum sis. Two words. THANK. YOU.

You said what i've been feeling in a nutshell.

Ati said...

There is no use to befriend with someone who could ruin your iman at the end of the day. I suppose it's true that we need to be selective when it comes to choosing who is suitable to be our friend and who's not. Girl I am glad you did the right thing!

Ramadhan is slipping away very soon :( Let's all work harder in these last few days to get Allah's blessings and His Jannah, Insya-Allah! I pray you all the best and have peace at heart. Ameen. Take care sis!

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