July 19, 2010

Quarter Life Crisis

nah, am just playing.  Although I have said it enough times for people to start questioning if I may actually mean it subconsciously.  I just thought it would be funny but there is always someone out there willing to dissect your sayings and extract more meaning than they should *cough*hubster*cough*

Anyway on to the post. I think its the human condition to always think or believe that the grass is indeed greener on the other side.  For a while I have been feeling a little left behind as my friends moved on in their goals.  A couple got their masters, another is an "accountant" for the CIA who needs to "train" in Eastern Europe. lol, she needs to work on her cover ID. A lot of my dreams (actually career wise ALL of them) had to be abandoned because they no longer were feasible for me.  Its weird because I abandoned them immediately but JUST started mourning them now as I am beginning to hit the deadlines I had placed for myself since I was 14.

I rather not go in to details here about what I wanted to do but lets just say there is absolutely no way I can fulfill those career goals without sacrificing my humanity, morals, ethics or religion.  So I was talking to a friend of mine who kept insisting that it can be done until we arrived at the above conclusion.  I am also a completely different person than I was at 14.

NOW, I was talking to another friend of mine (since 8th grade) who got her masters at 23 and is earning very well and by all accounts is successful in her career (mashaAllah) and she wants my married life with kids.  Well, not my EXACT life but rather a husband and a few kids.  This is very interesting because of all our core friends she was the most adamant about NEVER settling down.  Life has been really hard for her these past 2 years so I understand why she would want the moral and emotional support of a spouse.

My "accountant" friend is also in the same situation, career wise she is very successful but she wants to have a married life too but its difficult for her.  I don't think this is for all women I think that because we are friends most likely we share a lot more than just our appreciation of each other's companies which is why we feel similarly about careers and family life.

So here are my friends who are successful in their careers wanting my life and here I am a happily married woman wanting their success in a career.  They both want to meet someone for the sake of marriage and get to know each other but because both are not Muslim they don't know where to begin  I do think I can be successful in a career but I have to readjust my goals and look for others I can do.  Lisa (my friend who was trying to help me with my career goals) told me that I can always start a career later in life, abandon it and start another but I wont be able to have children of my own with the same ease.  She thinks that I am on track to having a fulfilling life and I believe her.  Its easy for me to despair when it is just me, my thoughts and my shaytan.  Its great to get perspective from a wiser source otherwise you drown in a cup of water.

Anyway I am really tired so am heading to bed right now....wa salaam

ps. I turned 25 today and it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it was. So I guess I can get started on my quarter life crisis now?

disclaimer: NOT all women want the same thing and some women DO make career and personal life work. This is MY story and feelings.


LK said...

Happy Birthday!

CareMuslimah said...

Salam sis. I really hope you can be very successful inshallah. Sometimes I think that getting married and having kids would be awesome soon, and then I think about why I want to first have a degree, start a carreer and be on track to have a family.

Nevertheless, we never know what we'll get.

Allahu alam.

Kiddy said...

Happy Quarter of a Century Birthday Tutty!I hope you had a good one,you got a lot to look forward to when you turn 40 can spread your wing and finally fly that is, until then be patient dear.

I admit it I love 40-year-olds, men and women alike,it's my weakness.But when I was in my 20's I just had a weakness for 40 something women,yet I was straight as a pin.40 something guys you sure got it going on Oh la la!

caraboska said...

Thanks be to God for permitting you to live this quarter century thus far. Surely God establishes the times and places we shall live, so that we may reach out and find Him.

I love coffee said...

Happy birthday! Continue being a sunshine in the blogging world. :)

Your loyal reader who visits your blog everyday to check if you have a new post but is seriously not a stalker of any kind,
I love coffee.