Sexuality is good, but sexualization is bad. Sexuality is about your identity as a woman or a man, about feeling sexual. That's a healthy part of being human, a healthy part of becoming an adult. But sexualization is about being an object for the pleasure of others, about being on display for others. Sexuality is about who you are. Sexualization is about how you look.
The second was this
Germaine Greer's main assertion that female modesty is a consequence and manifestation of the patriarchy has achieved the status of established fact in contemporary gender studies. The corollary that female immodesty is a sign of liberation is now widely accepted...By chastising feminine modesty as a symptom of patriarchal oppression, Greer provided support to the idea that pole dancers are liberated women. Her argument became so intrinsic to contemporary feminism that many people today don't even know where it came from.
This resonated with me deeply because I have gone on and on with women who feel that covering up with a hijab, niqab or burqa is pathologizing sexuality. When in reality modesty is what has been pathologized. Some of the statements are thrown around nowadays as facts but really are just one woman's perspective that has been accepted and propagated. The author also points out something that a mother referred to as "anorexia of the soul" where by little girls aren't giving an opportunity to discover who they are and instead adopt a facet of their lives and focus on it. What happens when that facet is taken away? They go in to deep depression, eating disorders, self-mutilation, destructive behavior and even suicide. Because they took that facet and made it their identity.
So I am not done with the book yet and I don't agree with EVERYTHING he says but he does bring in some interesting studies that are helping me understand WHY men and women ARE different. I was raised in a society that to say that men and women are NOT the same is a kin to being a traitor to my gender and a sexist. We want to be equal to men and I believe we should when it comes to human rights and the rights to self govern but we are NOT the same as men. We can try to be but we are made differently and we have limitations that they don't have and likewise men can't do things that we can. We are mentally and emotionally wired differently than men. I wish I had taken better notes because he provides excellent examples and studies. I love this book so much I think I will be purchasing it after I return it to the library.
Girls on the Edge: The Four Factors Driving the New Crisis for Girls-Sexual Identity, the Cyberbubble, Obsessions, Environmental Toxins
Published in 2010
Ps. this is giving me some insights and worries about raising girls and I don't mean just in "the west" but anywhere. I want o raise healthy, confident girls who will inshaAllah become strong believing women, mothers, sisters, co-workers, friends etc. I want them to be comfortable in their own skins, to have a strong sense of self and not be at the mercy of others critical opinion of them.