June 19, 2010

I got dumped like a sack of rotten potatoes

Remember this friend? Well she returned to her husband we are not sure about the timeline because she may or not have been pregnant by the time she left.  However, after 2 months away she was definitely pregnant.  For whatever reasons that were (inshaAllah) completely up to her, she has reconciled with her husband.  Just as expected he took her out of the state and moved almost 1750+ miles away in a state where she has no friends or family.  I am making du'a for her but honestly this kind of behavior scares me because abusers like to isolate their victims. I hope that this generalization does not apply to this particular situation.

She left without saying goodbye nor even informing me of the pregnancy.  I found out about the move and the pregnancy from another friend who is sporadically cut off.  I have noticed that every single friend who was directly involved has been cut off and ironically the one still in the loop was the one who started the wheels turning.  I am thinking the husband doesn't think she was involved because she lived a couple of states away but she was indeed the one running the show once he cut off our friend's cell phone.  Anyway, I wish her the best I do not regret any of my actions as we had reliable information from the sheikh of the community as well as other people involved in this situation.

The other friend "Lisa" she expected the friendship to end if she chose to reconcile with her husband but she prefers that it ended this way instead of in a morgue.  I knew it was a possibility although I kinda did expect a a call like "hey hun, listen I am trying to work things out with my husband and he doesn't want me talking to you, so am sorry but I wont be in touch for now or ever."  Instead I was left in the dark and she and I were REALLY close friends so this hurts.  

BTW. I sent my du'as to hajj with my FIL and one of them was for her to conceive as they had been trying for 5+ years unsuccessfully.  At the time I didn't know what kinda of man he was so I made the du'a, but regardless there is wisdom in why these things happen as well as the timeline.  I pray that she is safe and that her child or possibly children are raised with love and free of abuse. ameen. 




naseehah said...

Are you talking bout sister aalia? Inshaalah I hope allah keeps the sister safe and in good health ameen ya rab!

.::Tuttie::. said...

oh no! I have never met Aalia. This is a fellow latina convert that I am referring to and a personal close friend.

Anya said...

aww inshallah she'll be ok. and you'll get over it dont worry. ;-)


Bubbli said...

Inshallah all will go well, and like AM said Allah swt will take care of her, inshallah, u and her r in my duas. :)

♥ααℓiα♥ said...

Nope, not me.

I am sad for you and your friend, Tuttie. I am gonna pray for her safety & wellbeing, and that she has a successful pregnancy AMEEN!!

سمــا Samaa said...

لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله
This is unpleasant and no one would wish to be or any of their fellows in such situation. She is alone, but she has Allah swt. Besides we are here for her, and the least we can do is pray for her.

eyes serene said...

Assalamu alaikom,
Maybe I'm wrong, but this is my thought...

The way things have seemingly ended does suck. However, I think that even if she never speaks to you again, she'll never forget the way you and the other involved friends reacted to the situation.It will stay in the back of her mind that her situation is not normal, not acceptable, not healthy, and that there is an alternative. I think what you've said and done for her is like a seed planted in her mind.

One day, insha'Allah, she and any children get out safely and can enjoy life with peace.