April 11, 2010

Adopting children is NOT like getting a new pet!!!

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

I am SO angry so angry! The article is HERE (Adopted Russian Boy Sent Back Alone On Plane). When you are adopting you go in to it more or less blind.  You may or may not get the family background or the psychological profile of the child.  She got a raw deal, she believed she was getting a healthy child and instead got a child that required a lot of assistance and specialized care.  I get that. I really do.  However, sending the child back unsupervised was NOT the right choice.  She could have relinquished him to social services and given up her parental rights.  As I was watching the tv special below they mentioned that A LOT of children adopted from Russia have developmental, emotional (because of life in the orphanages), psychological and behavioral issues sometimes more than one at a time.  This is why I believe people should adopt with their eyes WIDE open because lets face it, you weren't there during the pregnancy and therefore don't know what the birth mother could have ingested.  The children profiled suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome and the adopted parents didn't know about it until a week after the adoption.

Adopting an older child is traumatic, bringing them to the USA where they don't speak the language, add their behavioral/emotional challenges and inexperience from the parents and you have a dangerous situation.  A woman in the special accidentally killed her adopted Russian daughter after  the child displayed classical developmental delays.  I don't pass judgment on the people because I have never been in their shoes and inshaAllah I am never in their shoes.  What I am saying is that adoption is REAL and it should be permanent.  As such one should really do their research before committing to taking care of another life.  Children either biological or adopted come with special challenges and it is up to the adults to deal with it. 



Gypsyheartyasi said...

Thats really sad, that these kids go through this, isn't there a law that protects both parties?.

Majda said...

My opinion? I think it's the mother's fault in general but I also blame the orphanage. When you adopt, there is a high risk of getting a child with psychological disorders. These kids come from broken families and many of their parents have done drugs and alcoholics. Babies from happy, 'respectable' families don't end up in orphanages. They just don't.

I also don't like the idea of international adoption so much anyways. Here in the states there are SO many children in foster care who could use a real family that I think it's almost cruel to overlook them. I'm sure there are hundreds or even thousands in her county or city alone. If she had adopted a local child, it'd be easier to get to know it and see it on a regular basis before deciding to go ahead and adopt it. I think a good reason why international adoption is so popular is the 'glamor' associated with it thanks to certain celebrities adopting abroad.

I also don't like how the orphanage had lied about the mental state of the boy. I know their goal is to place children into homes but he's a human being, not a TV. They shouldn't have to 'sell' him.

And from an Islamic standpoint, isn't it 7araam or makrooh to adopt a child and take it out of it's home country anyways?

UmmSqueakster said...

I'd also like to add that adopting a pet is not like, well, adopting a pet. If you agree to take a fuzzy little animal into your home, you're agreeing to take care of it for better or worse, not just dump it back at the shelter when the pet is no longer cute and fuzzy, or no longer convenient for you to take care of

a disgruntled cat rescue volunteer

.::Tuttie::. said...

@rahma. I agree when you promise to take care of someone or pet you should honor your promise. If unable to do so then you should find adequate care not just dump them wherever is most convenient for you.