March 21, 2010

Islamic Tourette Syndrome

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

Don't laugh! In 2007 I suffered from this and it was uncomfortable. You see we had just moved from our home state to another one 100 miles away. I had NOTHING to do but stay at hotel rooms while we searched for an affordable apartment. Imagine being stuck in a foreign place with NO internet access?! Cruel and unusual punishment INDEED. This was also during the time my social anxieties were at their worst. I am not sure how long this went on but I basically spoke to my husband and no one else.

Anyway to kill time until my hubs got home/hotel room I would listen for 8 hours to Islamic speeches. I mean NON stop unless I had to pray or use the bathroom, kwim. My iPod was jam packed with Islamic speeches so I spent nearly a month (although am pretty sure it was longer than that), listening to them and I rarely needed to repeat unless I liked the speech (because I had THAT many).

Among the speeches I did repeat was one from Imam Siraj Wahhaj about standing up for justice. The speech had something to do with a Muslim teenager (although at the time it really didn't matter as the police violence was endemic) it just so happen that this kid had no criminal record and was killed doing the right thing. I think after this the violence went down and the quality of life in that community wen up. Anyway, during the speech the Imam would shout out in emphasis "STAND UP FOR JUSTICE" something, something "Allah swt says in the Qu'ran STAND UP FOR JUSTICE" something, something "Brothers and sisters STAND UP FOR JUSTICE! something, something "O you who believe STAND UP FOR JUSTICE!"

It was an awesome speech made me cry and made me repeat STAND UP FOR JUSTICE! for months after (technically YEARS but it was more sporadic later on) I would be talking to someone and just randomly shout STAND UP FOR JUSTICE. And most of the time it was NOT related to what we were talking about. It was SOOOO embarrassing but I couldn't help it I really felt good letting it out like any other bodily function. My condition (Islamic Tourette Syndrome) was not limited to Imam Siraj, any catchphrase used in any of the speeches I heard, I would spew out. It became a game amongst my friends to try to figure out the speaker based on my mumblings.

Oh, and I also would randomly shout "ALLAHU AKBAR! LA ILAHA ILA ALLAH! ALLAHU AKBAR!" this doesn't sound too bad until you realized am talking about tacos and they were also Non Muslim and I may have just met them. It was embarrassing to say the least. EMBARRASSING. Yeah, truly embarrassing. NOT my finest moment of appearing "normal" dang it. OMG, the snafus continued and sadly in the presence of a cop once (he was so understanding). Just thinking about it makes my cheeks burn. There is an appropriate time to shout out all my slogans but probably not the best when the cop is trying to give your hubs a ticket. Or when you are in a pack mall during the holidays, no wonder I seem to have the aisle I was in all to myself.

How is my condition now?
MUCH better. I have more control when I shout out these things although they are still based from speeches and still sorta inappropriate. STAND UP FOR JUSTICE is STILL my favorite one. My iman could be better but hey I am working on it.

PS. Imagine that all the catchphrases in a black middle age man's voice. maybe that will help you understand the awkwardness.


AlabasterMuslim said...

LOLLOLOL this post had me laughing omg thanks for it.

*btw I do shout out ALLAHU AKBAR LA ILAHA IL ALLAH! But usually only around family. They still kind of look at me weird since its really random and has to do with nothing except the love of Allah swt hehe

Liz said...

Mash'Allah this post was so cute and endearing.