March 2, 2010

Everyone hates the popo until you need them...

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

The last couple of days have been hectic with the police being called by a friend of ours on behalf of another friend who was so terrified she locked herself in the bathroom. It took us 3-4 HOURS to finally bust her out of her house and my friend (the driver) and I were livid. I MEAN HE COULD HAVE KILLED HER!!!

Why were we so late in picking her up?
well for starters I knew of some of the marital issues this sister was having but not all and therefore couldn't prove to my husband that she was in real danger although he got ready to pick her up anyway. My other friend (the driver and 2nd person to call the cops, lets call her Susan) her husband is a social worker and he was hesitant in getting involved. My other friend (the one who originally called the cops but was a couple of states away, lets call her Sarah) her husband also refused to call the sister's husband (the one having marital problems, lets call her Laura) to find out what the heck was going on.

We were all like"these brothers just band together and cover each others butts....No wonder it is so hard for a muslimah to leave her abusive husband." Our husbands stand by their judgment that they didn't know what was going on and they don't just run in to a situation without any prior knowledge. REALLY?? The sister in need is NOT the type to call wolf and if she asked for help that means that the situation has gone too far. If someone calls me or texts me that they are scared, matter fact so scared that they are locked in the bathroom to have space from their spouse, YOU GET THEM OUT FIRST! ask questions later!

OMG. Anyway when we were on our way Laura's husband cutoff her cell phone line and we had no way to contact her. We knew there was no way her husband was going to let her go, plus he had hit her before, plus he knew mix martial arts. So we called the cops again to let them know that we were on our way to pick her up but there was no way of us getting her out. When we arrived two squad cars were there and her husband was leaving. He looked VERY embarrassed that we had shown up and pretended to tie his shoe laces for like 10 min and fumbled with his stuff.

MashaAllah the cops were very nice we asked them to please stay a little while longer while we took her stuff out because we feared he would come back. They gave us 15 minutes and all three (Sara, Laura and I) rummaged through the house looking for all the important documents she would need and anything else that belonged to her.

Alhamdulillah we got her out and she was besides herself in tears. Once in the car she spilled EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING. This man (Laura's husband) had stolen her identity before and taken out credit cards and other things in her name and hadn't paid for it. He was doing other stuff and basically he lied about everything. We learned that a couple of years ago he had done the same and they had gone to mediation and alhamdulillah she had the letter were he had agreed to pay her back everything signed and witnessed to by the local imam. He also wiped out her savings and stolen her hajj money.

We basically had to run to the nearest bank so she could remove her money before he had a chance to and subhanAllah on the way there she called her credit cards and he had already changed all of her information so that it would be mailed to a P.O. box. We were in shock. We never expected how nefarious and grimy this man truly was. SubhanAllah.

My friend is such a sweet heart and before becoming Muslim (fellow Latina) she had never dated, was obedient to her family, excellent student, she is very honest, loyal, she was a dream to have as a friend. Over the years she has discovered things about her husband that he hid when they courted and had she known that she would have NEVER married him.

She is so heartbroken right now and she just can't believe she lived with a man for 4 years and realized that she really doesn't know who he was. She mourns that she gave her chastity to him and how she would stand up for him when her whole family said he was wrong for her. The first time she disobeyed her family was because of him. She has gone through so much these past couple of years and she just looks beaten. May Allah swt heal her heart.

The first night her husband found out were she was staying because some frigging brother tipped him off. She was so scared that we scrambled to find her a new place and moved her again the next day. We found her a place to stay indefinitely and she is going through the procedure of getting a legal divorce and an Islamic divorce. Her husband is making his rounds destroying her reputation and there are two imams at the local masjid. The one who knows everything and has recommended to my friend to get divorced and the other one. Well the OTHER ONE is apparently on her husband's side and wants her to give him another chance. WHAT?!

AHHH!!! Anyway my husband, son and I spent 4 hours at the police station with her so she could get a restraining order, a theft report and Identity theft. She was granted the restraining order for 10 days but she must go to court in a couple of days. She is such a lovely girl and my friends and I are helping her out. Please keep her in your prayers.

ps. The good cops, the ones that help people....I think they are heroes.

{EDIT} The 2nd time the cops arrived her husband had convinced one of the cops my friend was nuts but alhamdulillah his partner came up and he had come earlier in the day and told his partner otherwise. He witnessed her husband throwing things and smashing doors on his first trip.

That officer (the one on her side) we saw him yesterday (2 days since the intervention) when Laura was getting her restraining order and he spoke on her behalf to the officer taking the report. She was still besides herself and him sharing with the other officer made things easier for her and gave more validity to her claim. SUPER NICE dude.

ps. wanna know who the rookie in the office is?
the dude with the most paper work. lol and he looked like a heavy set lebron. lol. Is that backbiting cuz I turned around and I told my hubs that and he just shook his head in disbelief. Give me a break it was like 10PM. I had to crack some jokes.


AlabasterMuslim said...

This story breaks my heart. Inshallah she will be rewarded indefinitely for the trouble that man has put her through. I can't imagine....Subhanallah some people really are just low as dirt.
Alhamdullilah, I'm glad she has friends like you to help her out when she needed it!!
And I love nice policemen. They make you feel all safe. hehe.

NtN said...

May Allah SWT reward her for her patience and may He punish her husband for his misdeeds. It sounds like the brothers there need to get their stuff worked out pretty seriously (no offense. It's just when the police have to get involved, there's obviously a problem in the marriage that needs more than a "be nice to your husband" lecture.)

I've met a lot of great cops in my time. One of them helped keep me out of trouble when I was in high school and altered the way I thought about cops in general. They're, for the most part, genuinely good men and women, although it doesn't seem like it if you're on the wrong side of the equation!
*snork* Like the time at the hotel, when a guy hired a hooker and then passed out and she stole his car. I had to document everything he said and everything that happened for the police: the cop was awesome and we both had fun laughing at the guy, whose car was recovered and who got to go to court for being a john.

She's Reaching said...


I am amazed by the abuse that occurs behind closed doors.

May Allah help her and all other people in abusive relationships.

CareMuslimah said...

sigh! :( That's so sad and scary!!. I'll keep her in my prayers and duaas inshallah. I really hope her life gets better soon.

You're such sweethearts for helping her mashallah! I know she must be very grateful.