February 26, 2010

This was me growing up

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

Growing up was hard for me. I was responsible for two young boys since I was 8 years old until I left my house at 18. I had to go to school every morning, drop off my brothers in their respective schools (one kid went to a magnet school and the other to regular), work 8 hour days after I came home from school. WALK home from the factory to our apartment, start cooking dinner, make my brothers do their homework, shower, go to bed and clean up the mess left in the house. I did that for YEARS. I also had to put up with my mother attacking my self esteem calling me a slut whenever she had a chance and I truly felt she was trying to break me as a person and she did.

Watching the following super nanny episode was hard because I see another group of girls being abused in a similar manner. These parents are making their teenage daughters raise their own brothers while being "home schooled" but there is no learning going on. I am all for children having chores and responsibilities but where are the parents' responsibilities in all of this? I mean the 17 yr old PASSED out in front of the cameras out of exhaustion. The mother goes to 'work' every day leaving the girls in charge and the father soon follows. Why did no one call CPS on these parents? They need a wake up call.

When you raise children (or not raise them depending on which way you look at it) this way you will loose them. I wanted to scream at the mother "do you think your daughters will stick around after they are 18?" HELL NO. They will run faster for the door than you can scream "TWINKIE" and the likelihood of you seeing them again is slim. After I left my mom and I accepted Islam our relationship improved but I still only see her once or twice a year. It is very hard for me to call her on a daily basis. If I can get away without calling I do. I know that is not the best thing to do but I just don't want to do it. I like my life the way it is and sometimes I have to remind myself that my mother isn't the same woman I grew up with. She has changed.

I will be writing in the next week about my childhood focusing on the pain I still feel and lately some anger. I was abused and beaten EVERY DAY and that is not an exaggeration. I have soo many stories to tell that I don't even know where to begin with that one. In the mean time here is a sanitized version of my life in this supernanny episode below.

{EDIT}Here is the update on the family, it seems like the parents actually pull it together. I really did think that it was just a front but they went through with it. mashaallah. IT is commendable that they changed their ways. May Allah swt make their journey easier ameen.

ps. it was the CHILDREN who called supernanny for help.

1 comment:

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

Truly sickening. These poor girls are doing many times the work I do as a stay at home mom of one child.
I don't know you made it through your own teen years Tuttie, but Allah is surely merciful. Thanks for sharing this.