February 7, 2010

I was threatened...

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

my kid is kinda in the light weight category and I am getting a lot of unsolicited 'advice' and not always in a kind way. Today for example someone (close to us) threatened to call child services on us to investigate how we are raising my little dude. I am not worried that child services will find anything wrong other than the fact that we IGNORE this particular person's advice because its usually full of crap. I am also sure that this person was not serious about calling, it was more their way of trying to scare us into doing what they suggest.

[edited out because I don't want backbiting]

I am taking in to consideration that my son is light weight and I am thinking of supplementing his meals with other things and would like suggestions. Like what has worked for you and if you have any schedule for the meals. What kind of snacks do you do, beverages etc.

ps. I know there are parents out there PLEASE give me suggestions before I burst in to tears.


Nikki said...

I have no feeding suggestions, because as you know my son is on a diet of fruit, breastmilk, and neocate (amino acid based formula).

I do, however, know how you feel and support you raising your son how YOU feel is best. For one thing, breastmilk is proven best for babies, so saying that it would make your child weak is b.s. With my son's food situation, I am constantly receiving unwanted "advice" about how to "fix" his "problem." For one thing, it is not a "problem" that needs fixed, it is a condition that needs treated very, very carefully.

I even had a woman feed my son vegetables, that he's never had before, right in front of me. This woman is a friend of mine, but did not agree that he was getting enough from just breastmilk and fruit and fed him! She is also a nurse so thinks she knows more than me about toddler nutrition. Which...may be true, but my son is no ordinary toddler! We're so so lucky that we didn't end up in the hospital again that day.

People need to raise their own children and leave it at that. I can't tell you how many things I'm doing "wrong" in other people's eyes...but it boils down to my husband, myself, and what's best for our son.

HANG IN THERE! I can share that my son eats 6 times a day. Breastmilk only in the morning, right before bed, and once during the night, and breastmilk or formula and fruit for the three "daytime" feedings.

Iman (Lifes Balance Beam) said...

Wow i think people should mind their business!


I know plenty of very small children, HEALTHY but very small for their age, and usually once they hit a certain age its like growth out of nowhere! people need to accept the fact that all kids wont be plump. and the fact that u breastfeed him is actually GOOD ur supposed too, thats what breast milk was created for!

I am not a mother, but i am one to dip into health and i think the best thing to do is just naturally boost him. all the fruits and veggies he can have at his age inshaallah because the most vitamins and proteins are in them to help growth. i dont know how old he is, but a multi vitamin may also help.

inshaallah everything will be FINE! hes just a little guy for NOW tell who ever it is to butt out, serious or not!

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

Avocadoes! This was one food that Layla still loves and it helped keep her nice and chubby when she started nursing less around 1 year. Just get them when they're not too ripe and cut it in chunks rather than smashing it. They seem to like it more as a finger food.

Another thing I did was feed her whole beans as finger foods to make sure she was getting enough protein. (I hear you like your beans anyway) Since he's over a year now don't hesitate to add some real butter to his food and you can even use raw coconut oil. Saturated fat is really important for kids under 2yrs.

Oh, two websites with information I recommend.
kellymom.com- breasfeeding and information on solid foods
askdrsears.com-lots of solid nutritional advice.

Definitely keep nursing him until hes 2 if you can.
I think you're doing great!

Sarah said...

AS salam aleikom,

You can sneak in extra vitamins w/milkshakes and smoothies! as long as your son is not allergic to milk he should be fine w/a banana strawberry smoothie. You could put in some weigh protein (ask the dr first on this one). We 'sneak' brocoli (you wouldnt taste it) we have also done avocadoes mixed in with orange juice, apples and grapefruit...sounds weird but its yummy. There are a ton of smoothie and milkshake combos out there and its really easy to make. As long as your son is eating healthy, don't worry! As long as he's acting his normal self and growing steadily there's no need to worry :) InshaAllah you are feeling better.

Rene´s Bare Essentials said...

I wouldnt worry about CPS. Im a social worker and I can tell you that in order for CPS to make a visit there would need to be proof of neglect and/or abuse of the child. Just because your child is underweight does not mean you are neglecting your child. Childrens metabolisims vary from child to child. Some children eat a lot of food and stay stick thin until they reach adulthood, etc. Im really sorry that you have to go through this, I find it really insulting that some people take it upon themselves to blame the parents, even though they are good parents and have enough worries without the extra headache from others. If you can, ignore these people and continue to remain patient!

Rene´s Bare Essentials said...

sorry, I forgot to mention foods that oould help with your childs weight gain.
I agree with Fatima that avocados are a great way to add fat and nutrition to your childs diet! Bananas are good for weight gain, adding olive oil to pasta for extra fat and calories is also good. Try to add higher calorie vegetables like corn, potatoes (sweet potatoes are very yummy).

Also as a side note, sometimes childrens are underweight due to a food allergy or food intolerance. Celiac disease is one common disorder that can cause nutrient absorption problems.

marie said...

I wouldn't worry about your child's weight as long as he's following his own growth curve, if he fell 2 marks below his last marker, then it would be considered failure to thrive.
It's good to introduce different foods in your child's diet, one new one at the time so you can pin point any allergies.
It's easier to start with less sweet foods like vegees, once a kid starts with fruits, he aquires a taste for the sweetness and it makes it more difficult to introduce other foods.He might even show his disaste by vomiting.
Each child is different and you're best placed to know your child.

p.s.I raised 4 children and I'm a nurse practitioner.

Candice said...

If your son is developping like he should, then you shouldn't be worried and just pretend they don't exist. I'd say just slap the woman, but that probably wouldn't help the situation ;)

People will always say things... I breastfed my daughter until she was 2 years 3 months, and I started getting comments from people as soon as she got to 6 months of age. She's always been really big so it wasn't about that, but for them it was more about how she'd grow up so attached to me and unable to go out on her own, bla bla bla. She's 2 years 9 months now and annoyingly independant! She is so secure that I'm there for her that she has no fear of exploring the unknown on her own.

Breastfeeding is a great gift to give your child, and I think it can never be a bad thing! Some kids need more than just that even before 6 months of age, and they generally start eating real foods slowly at 6 months, but even that can be delayed. I'm sure you know all this, so just take it as me supporting your situation. From what you say, your boy, even though he's small, seems perfectly healthy and that's what's important so keep doing what you're doing! People will talk no matter what.

.::Tuttie::. said...

@nikki. OMG that is crossing the lines in so many ways! I wanted to slap her for you. What the hell was she thinking?????!! The person bothering me MEDICATED my child without my consent and I was livid.

@LBB he is 15 months old and EXTREMELY active. I think he just burns whatever I give him.

@Stacy. Alhamdulillah he LOVES avocados aka aguacate (",). He is allergic to milk products so I avoid any and all butter but thanks for the suggestions i definitely need to check out those sites. My goal is to nurse him for 2 years too. He eats regular food but he does nurse A LOT.

@Sarah. my little dude is allergic to milk products so that's ruled out :(

Sarah said...

Salam aleikom,

Ok no milk, not a problem! You can still do smoothies with orange juice as the base and then mix in other fruits like cranberries, strawberries, blueberries. InshaAllah he is fine. You know whats funny, a lady once 'advised' me not to give my son any tomatoes because it will make him hyper. Ermmm...w/or w/out tomatoes I'm hyper LOOL

Rubber said...

lawl what the hell?
just tell them firmly that you the kid's MOM.
oh shite
marriage looks tough
i am suddenly worried

hispanic muslimah said...

Tuttie, I'm sorry to hear someone is bugging you like this.
I'm not a parent but..all I can say is how I handle situations when ppl in my life give me rude unsolicited advice. I politely tell them that I know what's best for my life but I appreciate their concern.
If a particular person continues to do so then, I'm even more upfront without having to defend my view point, I tell them it's rude of them to push their views on me and I don't want to hear it again. It's harder when it's somebody close to you. But I tell myself that I've tried to be nice, but at the end of the day, I love myself more than to allow somebody to speak to me like that.& if somebody was talking crap about my future children...believe me, I will tell somebody to stop because that's not just about me anymore it's about a child I'm responsible for.
My 2 cents.

hispanic muslimah said...

P.S.I know in some cultures it's seen as good when somebody's kids are little butterballs...bc ppl think it goes to show that the parents have loads of money to fatten their kids up.
Reality of today in America is that: low income children are more likely to be overwieght with health problems. This is because unhealthy processed food "mcdonald's dollar menu" is cheaper than organic and fresh food like from "Whole Foods." Meanwhile children of parents with higher education and more money, are less likely to be overwieght.