February 18, 2010


In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

I know I have written a little about the abuse I endured and I have been reconsidering it. For example, I have forgiven my mom for what she did but I am still telling you all about her actions. Aren't I exposing her sins? My hubs thinks that if I have forgiven them then it probably is not fair for me to air it out. BUT I think that it happened to ME and it is a part of who I am so I feel that I am entitled to share it.

So forgive and forget? erase the posts about abuse?

or what if my mom becomes Muslim? wouldn't that wipe away the sins she committed before? so wouldn't it be best I hide her flaws? specially since she is no longer committing them?

or the child rapist? what if he became Muslim? What then? Since he hasn't changed though I still feel he needs to be pointed out for the safety of other children.


Amira said...

I don't think of can ever really just forget everything that's happened. With that in mind its really up to you and how you feel like with me sometimes after I'm done writing I feel a lot better and delete the post after some time. Also there maybe some people who may not be able to share their own stories but find solace in that you are mashallah doing good so they may be okay too.

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

That is so tough. Normally I would just say to forgive and forget. However, your past also has an affect on the person that you are today. You have to think if something that can be gained by the posts is greater than the potential damage that they could cause to your mom and go from there. Its funny how backbiting can sneak up on you isn't it?

muslimah said...

wow a tough one!
i have not forgiven my mother for neglecting me and not supervising me enough so other wouldnt abuse me.
I have not forgiven her for being drunk most of the time and forgetting to buy or cook food.
But i does not mean that i dont love her, or that i behave disrespectful towards her.
Parents rights are huge even if they are unjust.
What i do is if i talk to someone about my upbringing it is out of necessity such as sharing my experiences to someone who will learn something from it.
Not just to bad mouth my mother.
I KNOW now as an adult all the circumstances that made my mother who she is, that makes me hubmle, but i will not forgive her. If she does not become muslim i want her to know that she did wrong, because i feel sometimes she slacking about the past just because i am nice.

And i know as an adult having had a shittier life then my mother growing up, that she had i choice when rasing me, just as i am making good and healthy choices bringing up my daughters.

Sarah said...

As salam aleikom

This is why I don't like to talk about abuse. I still make duaa the individuals will inshaAllah one day turn to Allah seeking His forgiveness. Stay strong Tuttie. I know its hard because you want to get it out, but I think as long as your husband knows what you've been through and you feel his love and support then is their a need to tell others? Just my opinion. Unless its for a safety reason like you said.