January 6, 2010

This is for LK

I tried posting on your blog but for some reason it won't let me. like at all. I am using Ubuntu now so I am guessing your template is not compatible. I have left comments on other sisters blog but only if the comments page is a pop up. Anyway I wanted to address the extreme living halal story.

I was NOT upset or offended and I got your point although different strokes for different folks as I do have friends who abide by that life style and they seem happier than I am. I guess its all about getting used to things and finding alternatives. I do follow a strict life style and if any of the things you mentioned on your post were present I would have left WITHOUT MAKING A SCENE. I do show up to events that I know will be mixed gender just to support and not break family or friendship ties. However, I don't stay too long.

I don't shop at stores that sell alcohol and I try to shop from ethical stores whether they are Muslim or not it doesn't matter. As a non Muslim I used to shop in ethical fair trade stores anyway so I don't see any difference or reason why I should stop now that am a Muslim.

I do not impose my views or restrictions on other brothers and sisters and I do play by their rules when I am to their events or homes, however, in my house we follow my rules. I think its only fair. I do not negotiate on my niqab though. If they are uncomfortable (which hasn't happened) I would rather not show up and send my gift with someone else. My moms is ok with my niqab and she isn't even Muslim and she would have been the only one I would have removed it for seeing as pleasing my parents is obligatory while wearing my niqab is sunnah. (people can argue but that is my view on the niqab)

I understand that I choose to live the way I live and I am lenient with the people around me. I do shop at the mall but I also don't like staying too long seeing that the markets are the house of shaytan. I go....get what I need and BOUNCE. Before I was Muslim I rarely went to the malls mainly because I was broke all the time and mainly because I wasn't a girly girl and shopping was torturous for me. (although hijabs and niqabs have TOTALLY changed that for me but alas there are no hijab shops or niqabs so I end up shopping online :( )

I don't see a conflict with the way I live my life and the way others choose to. Because I believe in freedom of religion and free will. I don't feel that I am responsible for them nor do I feel that I need to convert them to Islam. I respect other people's beliefs and religion or even their lack of religion but it totally pisses me off when they try to convert me. seeing as I don't do it to them. I give respect so I do expect respect back...when its not forthcoming I distance myself from them and if they are belligerent I cut them off completely. I value my sanity.

My this or that scenarios were just to point out that there are other people who follow a strict way of living and its not just Muslims. For example and recovering alcoholic also avoids places were alcohol will be served or sold. I think that there are A LOT of life styles that we may or may not agree with but it doesn't mean someone else might not like it. There are 6+ billion people in the world one is bound to like something or try it at least once.

so are we cool? are you a deputy of the halal police?

ps. would I show up to a non Muslim event if they served alcohol and pork? Yes, yes I would but I wouldn't eat the pork nor be involved in their serving or drinking of the alcohol and I would stay for a short period and leave. Why? because they don't believe in what I believe and their rules are different than mine. Would I still go if it was in a bar? No I would not.
Would I show up to a baptism? If I was invited yes. Why? because its their religion not mine and I understand my religion. Although I wouldn't participate in any of the religious aspects of their celebration and most of my friends (offline) are very understanding and wouldn't push me to do it anyway. Alhamdulillah.

Life is full of trials, compromises and moderation.

also in enjoining the good and forbidding the bad we also have to do it according to the sunnah and not bash someone over the head with it.
so enjoin the sunnah with a sunnah.

edit: hubs says that he wouldn't go to the mixed events instead he would go the day before the party or a week before the party drop off the gifts make du'a for them and call it a day. Like I said different strokes for different folks.


Banana Anne said...

Masha'Allah Tuttie, I like the way you think. You are very tolerant with others yet are firm in your beliefs, which I think is the best way to be. You understand that not everyone thinks the same way, and you know that taking it upon oneself to act as the haram police isn't going to win one any friends and may even turn people away from Islam if they think it's all a bunch of "don'ts". This post reminds me of that Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam song "If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out", where there's the lyrics "And if you want to be me, be me; and if you want to be you, be you." More importantly, it reminds me of the ayah "Lakum deen ukum wa liya deen"--"To you be your way (religion), and to me my way (religion)". Alhamdulillah.

AlabasterMuslim said...

I agree with banana Anne, I like that you are strict and firm in your beliefs, but don't force them or look down on others. Alhamdullilah.
Personally, I don't really go to mixed events. I get very, very...awkward i guess. But i guess i kind of switch it up...if there are men from my husbands family visiting, i hide. If they were from my family, i know i wouldn't. (But of course i wouldn't really 'socialize').