January 26, 2010

NOT the time

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

Domestic violence is not restricted to geography, nationality, religion or race. Once an abused person reaches out for help the LAST thing they need to hear is "this is happening to you because you follow (insert religion here)" OR "this is happening to you because you don't believe in God."

It is VERY hard for women to reach out for help and they don't need to hear your thoughts on why they are there or to victimize them any further. I am talking about government employed social workers. YOU DO NOT GET PAID TO PROSELYTIZE. You get paid via tax dollars to help those who need the help NOT to spread your religion or lack of religion. If you feel that it is your calling to do just that then become an imam, rabbi, priest or an activist atheist or stand in the corner of a street proselytizing away. You are not doing your religion any favors by proselytizing while working if anything it underlines your LACK of professionalism and character. You are not honoring your commitments and if you are Muslim you are abusing an amanah (trust).

I think you can still be religious and practice your beliefs by BEHAVING according to your religion and by showing compassion and limiting it to YOU. Actions are louder than words and it is VERY low that you would push your religion on someone who is struggling and suffering just to push your agenda. IT IS WRONG. MORALLY WRONG. You have to ask yourself WHY are you there? is it to do your best to help these people OR to convert people? If the person you are assigned to you is of a different religion why not (after giving the govt services) redirect them to a local religious organization (that they belong to)? I think you would make a better impression then. Why this rant? a friend FINALLY reached out to escape her abusive husband just to get a "you are being abused because you are Muslim." WTH?! I am so angry right now.

January 17, 2010


In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

SO my back still hurts like a mother (pain travels up and down). Docs are still running tests as it is not clear what is wrong. I have been unable to do the basics besides cleaning myself and eating. My son is being taken care of by my hubs and inlaws almost exclusively (they are freaking awesome).

I am depressed from all of this I am fiercely independent and having to rely on others is hard. I can't pick up my baby boy because every time I have I ended up crying from the pain. He doesn't understand this of course and comes to hug me and wants to be carried. I hug him laying down or when am sitting. alhamdulillah. It is also hard on the hubs as he has to carry on AND take care of my son while dealing with a snarky wife (not intentionally but that is how it has gone down). It is a hard trial on all of us.

I am sorry I haven't responded to your comments on this blog/facebook and any emails you have sent me. I still can't sit for too long so I don't check any of them with frequency. Please forgive me I am not intentionally ignoring you and please keep me in your du'as.

ps. it took me a couple of trips from the bed to the computer to finish this post and I also wanted to tell you guys that your comments meant a lot to me. Alabaster Muslim you were constantly asking about me and leaving sweet messages. JazakAllah khayr it cheered me up when I was in the dumps. May Allah swt reward you. ameen.

pps. someone started a rumor on facebook that I am a dude posing as a niqabi and my NiqabLife fanpage (that you all know is for my niqabline) was just a front for my fetish for niqabs. Don't know how the heck that got started but I was wondering why my followers were dropping like flies. yeah thanks guys!

January 10, 2010

How To Make Your Own Homemade Pregnancy Test

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

so I was talking to a friend about pregnancies and we started to wonder, how the heck did people check for pregnancy back in the day. Well here it is. Apparently Egyptians were ahead of their time and had a homemade pregnancy test that was accurate 70% of the time. mashaAllah

presenting Knocked up like an Egyptian
1350 BCE
One of the earliest written records of a urine-based pregnancy test can be found in an ancient Egyptian document. A papyrus described a test in which a woman who might be pregnant could urinate on wheat and barley seeds over the course of several days: “If the barley grows, it means a male child. If the wheat grows, it means a female child. If both do not grow, she will not bear at all.” Testing of this theory in 1963 found that 70 percent of the time, the urine of pregnant women did promote growth, while the urine of non-pregnant women and men did not. Scholars have identified this as perhaps the first test to detect a unique substance in the urine of pregnant women, and have speculated that elevated levels of estrogens in pregnant women’s urine may have been the key to its success.

Middle Ages through the Seventeenth Century
Using visual aspects of urine to detect pregnancy became a popular method. In Europe, so-called “piss prophets” claimed to be able to diagnose many different conditions and diseases by the color of urine. In a 1552 text, pregnancy urine was described as: “clear pale lemon color leaning toward off-white, having a cloud on its surface.” Other tests included mixing wine with urine and observing the results. Indeed, alcohol reacts with certain proteins in urine, so this may have had a moderate success rate.

Nineteenth Century
Various theories abounded, such as the possibility that pregnancy urine contained certain identifiable crystals or bacteria. Scientists did not know enough about pregnancy to develop a reliable test. However, for sexually active women, the best method for diagnosing pregnancy remained careful observation of their own physical signs and symptoms (such as morning sickness).

Many physicians began to describe the workings of chemicals in the body, suggesting that “internal secretions” by certain organs were crucial to an understanding of human biology. Ernest Starling named these chemical messengers “hormones.”

American public health advocates started to encourage women to see their doctors as soon as possible after pregnancy was suspected. Prenatal care was found to improve the health of both infants and mothers, even though most women would not see a doctor or midwife until well into the pregnancy.


Research on human reproduction intensified in the early twentieth century. Ludwig Fraenkel described the corpus luteum, the glandular mass that forms in women’s bodies during the normal menstrual cycle that we now know is supported by hCG during pregnancy. He identified some hormones that had a role in female reproduction, naming the hormone that promoted gestation, progesterone. Progesterone was isolated (an important step in the study of hormones) in 1934.

Independently, scientists in several laboratories across Europe described the presence of a substance that promotes ovary development and growth in rabbits and mice. In Germany, Selmar Aschheim and Bernhard Zondek noted that this substance specifically affected the formation of the corpus luteum.

Scientists recognized that there is a specific hormone (now known as human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG)) that is only found in pregnant women.

Aschheim and Zondek described a test (known as the A-Z test) which identified the presence of hCG in urine. To test for pregnancy, a woman’s urine was injected into an immature rat or mouse. If the subject was not pregnant, there would be no reaction. In the case of pregnancy, the rat would show an estrous reaction (be in heat) despite its immaturity. This test implied that during pregnancy there was an increased production of the hormone. During early studies of the A-Z test, the scientists discovered that testicular tumors could produce hCG as well.

Hormone research blossomed in this period. Scientists in several different laboratories developed bioassays (special tests using animals or live tissue) to identify hCG by injecting samples to induce ovulation in rabbits, frogs, toads, and rats. These tests were expensive, required the sacrifice of several animals, and slow, often taking days to get results. The tests were also insensitive when measuring hormone levels to diagnose pregnancy because of the similarity between hCG and another substance, luteinizing hormone (LH). Most bioassays were in fact unable to distinguish between the two except at extraordinarily high rates of hCG.

Herbert Evans discovered that when injected with certain fluids from the female glands a female rat would grow an abnormally large corpus luteum. These fluids were hormones now known as gonadotropins.

In the next few decades laboratory scientists increased their level of interest in the study of human reproduction and on the role of ovaries and testes in human development.

The First International Conference of Standardization of Sex Hormones was held in London, marking the culmination of a decade of increased interest in the chemical properties of sex hormones rather than the previously limited focus on biological function.

Popular childbirth books began to encourage women to visit a doctor’s office for confirmation of pregnancy rather than relying on “old wives’ tales” for the diagnosis.

Gonadotropins were first extracted from human pituitary glands.

A “hemagglutination inhibition test” for pregnancy was developed by L. Wide and C.A. Gemzell. Because it used cells in the testing process, this test was an immunoassay rather than a bioassay. The test used purified hCG, mixed with a urine sample and antibodies directed against hCG. In a positive pregnancy test, the red cells clumped, displaying a particular pattern. This test was much faster and cheaper than the old bioassay, but still relatively insensitive, especially for early diagnosis of pregnancy. The test also cross-reacted with various medications.

JV: The problem with these kinds of tests is that there can be some substances in the urine to give a false-negative or a false-positive test at a pretty high frequency, so you had to be careful. It was important to identify what were the interfering substances that gave false results.

Important disease research in this period led to more knowledge about how hormones, steroids, and antibodies work in the human body. In the next decade, NICHD scientists would transfer these principles to their studies of reproductive hormones such as hCG.

JV: The first principle of developing a radioimmunoassay was the result of a person making the observation that, when patients with diabetes mellitus were treated with insulin, they developed a circulating antibody. Then after that, we started inducing antibody in animal models, and the rest is history.

JV: There were very few places that were doing reproductive endocrinology research [in the late 1960s and early 1970s] because they didn’t have purified hormones, and there were just some very tedious ways of doing things. To compare the research tools we had back in the late 1970s to now, it’s like Neanderthal to modern man. [There is] no comparison. It took brute force to get some things done.

A. R. Midgley described the first radioimmunoassay for hCG, but the test still could not differentiate between hCG and luteinizing hormone. Several other laboratories reported improvements on this test, but did not solve this basic problem.


Two things came together in this period along with the so-called sexual revolution: increased research on reproductive health and a heightened desire (brought on by both improved prenatal care and legal abortion) to detect pregnancy as early as possible. Beginning in the 1970s, prenatal care and prenatal testing became more routine in the American health care system.
'A Preliminary screening test for pregnancy,' courtesy of the Food and Drug Administration History Office
"A preliminary screening test for pregnancy," courtesy of the Food and Drug Administration History Office.
Tests available to doctors and technicians included Wampole’s two-hour pregnancy test. The test could be done as early as four days after a missed period. In the packaging materials, the man pictured performing the test wore a laboratory coat, indicating that it was not intended for home use. Besides the equipment in the kit, (two test tubes, a plastic rack, a bottle of “control solution,” a bottle of “hCG-antiserum” and a bottle of “cell suspension”), testers would need a small funnel and filter paper or centrifuge, clean pipettes or syringes, and saline solution in addition to a urine sample.

Scientists at NIH learned more about the properties of hCG. They were specifically interested in which parts of the hormone showed biologic activity. Using various methods, they identified two subunits of hCG and focused on the beta-subunit. They found that the beta-subunit is where the immunologic and biologic specificity of hCG resides (what makes it different from other hormones). Using animal models, they took advantage of this discovery to develop a specific antiserum for measuring the hormone in humans.

In a 1972 textbook on gonadotropins, Vaitukaitis and Ross noted that: “Common antigenic determinants [biological characteristics] among hCG, LH, FSH, and TSH have made the production of specific antisera for radioimmunoassay difficult.” However, the team was close: “the recent isolation and separation of subunits…have provided unique materials with which these questions could be explored.”

Vaitukaitis, Braunstein, and Ross published their paper describing the hCG beta-subunit radioimmunoassay that could finally distinguish between hCG and LH, therefore making it potentially useful as an early test for pregnancy. See Vaitukaitis, J.L., Braunstein, G.D., and Ross, G.T. (1972) “A radioimmunoassay which specifically measures human chorionic gonadotropin in the presence of human luteinizing hormone.” American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 113, 751-8.

The first edition of Our Bodies, Ourselves, the women’s health manual written by the Boston Women’s Health Collective, noted that available pregnancy tests were most accurate if done two weeks after the missed period. Though the authors insisted that instructions for “collecting and submitting your urine are simple,” modern readers might disagree. “Drink no liquids after dinner the night before,” the text instructed, “then as soon as you awake in the morning collect a urine sample in a clean, dry, soap-free jar and take it to a laboratory.” Another possibility was sending the urine sample to a laboratory in North Carolina, after first writing to request the test kit.

Though the test was not yet widely available, NIH scientists spread the word about the new radioimmunoassay. At first, the test was found most useful for clinicians in testing and following patients being treated for hCG-secreting tumors. The sensitive radioimmunoassay could tell the doctors if the chemotherapy treatments had worked.

JV: We were doing assays for people all over the place. We felt ethically that we had to because it wasn’t available anyplace else. So we used to give out a lot of antiserums to research labs and show them how to set up the assays.

From Directions and Technical Information on UCG-TEST, 1970, courtesy of Special Collections, Northwestern University Library
From Directions and Technical Information on UCG-TEST, 1970, courtesy of Special Collections, Northwestern University Library.
FDA approval was sought by Warner-Chilcott for e.p.t, the “Early Pregnancy Test” later known as the “Error Proof Test.” e.p.t would become the first home pregnancy test kit on the market in the United States. The makers of e.p.t worked with the FDA to meet all the requirements of the 1976 Medical Devices Act. (The new regulations divided medical devices into three classes depending on potential for harm and misuse.) Approval was also granted to three other tests that were deemed “Substantially equivalent:” Predictor, ACU-TEST, and Answer.

Several articles in the American Journal of Public Health stated that public health would be better served if the average consumer could purchase a home pregnancy test and use it reliably in her own home.

By the end of 1977, e.p.t was ready for the American market. (Because of requirements for the specific wording on packaging and other last-minute details, there is a lag time between FDA approval and wide availability of most medical devices.) In a “Dear Pharmacist” letter from Warner/Chilcott, drug stores were informed that “the e.p.t consumer advertising campaign has been designed to direct the consumer to their drug store to purchase e.p.t”

e.p.t was advertised in major women’s magazines including: Mademoiselle, McCall’s, Redbook, Family Circle, Ladies’ Home Journal, Good Housekeeping, and Vogue. Advertisements appeared later in the year for Predictor, Answer, and ACU-TEST.

The e.p.t test of 1978 was described to the public in Mademoiselle: “For your $10,” the article notes, “you get pre-measured ingredients consisting of a vial of purified water, a test tube containing, among other things, sheep red blood cells…as well as a medicine dropper and clear plastic support for the test tube, with an angled mirror at the bottom.” The test took two hours, and was more accurate for positive results (97%) than for negative (80%). Advantages, noted Mademoiselle, included “privacy and not having to wait several more weeks for a doctor’s confirmation, which gives you a chance, if pregnant, to start taking care of yourself…or to consider the possibility of early abortion.” (Mademoiselle, April 1978, p. 86)

McCall’s magazine claimed that “physicians we interviewed about the tests endorse the concept.” But the editors cautioned that women who get negative results and who still suspect pregnancy should not wait ten days to take the test again “but should seek medical help as soon as possible.” (McCall’s, March 1978, p. 46)

Taking the test at home, noted a 1979 article in Family Planning Perspectives, both protected the privacy of a woman who might not want her doctor to know she is sexually active and gave women a new opportunity to take an active role in their own health care.

Research increased and educational campaigns were launched to identify the importance of folic acid in early pregnancy and to warn of the dangers of various environmental hazards and alcohol to a developing fetus.

Advances in the technology of pregnancy tests included the development of new types of antibodies and the use of enzyme labels in place of radioactive labels.

The next generation of home pregnancy tests was ushered in with FDA approval of Clearblue Easy’s digital pregnancy test. In place of a thin blue line, the indicator screen will now display either “pregnant” or “not pregnant.”

JV: The home pregnancy test is probably the most widely used test besides the hematocrit and hemoglobin [the blood test to measure red blood cells and iron levels that is part of the blood workup done regularly at doctors’ offices].

Note: Quotations labeled “JV” are from an interview with Judith Vaitukaitis, August 18, 2003. Quotations labeled “GB” are from a telephone conversation with Glenn Braunstein, October 3, 2003.

January 9, 2010

Dear LK and Anyone getting Grief from ppl

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

I still can't post on your blog for some reason so am posting it on mine. Your last post about people bothering you and you having to take the previous post down because of the hassle. I don't think you should. I disagree with you on A LOT of things you post but it is still your blog and you have the right to express yourself the way you want. Don't let people bully you because they aren't worth the stress. Ignore them or delete their comments if you so choose to. I have been blessed with very respectful readers who are able to disagree with me without tearing me down personally (thank you all for that *smiles*). The only time they were a little belligerent was when I insulted Ange and they felt the need to defend her honor...even though it was all a joke and she was in on it.

Anyway I wanted to share with you this resource called EverNote it's a place where you can save articles, notes or whatever you find 'note worthy' and come back to it later instead of clogging up your browser with links that you can't remember why you favorited them in the first place or posting it on your blog and confuse readers. There is a free account and a paid account. For your purposes I think a free account will do just fine. inshaAllah.

Here are screen shots click on the image to enlarge. I sound like an infomercial but I think you could use it based on your last post.

or you could start a private blog only visible to you (you can adjust it in the settings) and leave notes there with links. Whichever you prefer.

ps. I still can't sit for too long, walk for too long or even stand for too long because my back is hurting me so if I don't respond to your emails and facebook well wishes its because I can't. I am bored out of my mind but I don't have a cell phone I can use to browse so I do 'drive bys' on my computer log on...get a laugh...log off and to bed I go again. Keep me in your du'as. inshaAllah.

January 7, 2010

The Halalification of the Halal Mix Tape

halal, ya'aani!!

ps. Guess who suggested this clip at 11 o'clock at night? when everyone but me was sleeping. the black thobe sister. lol.

pps. You wanna be a deputy of the halal police? get your badge here and paste it on your blog!

January 6, 2010

Black Thobe

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

lol. this is what I was talking about... It's funnier though when you can hear her singing it. lol enjoy.
Black thobe, black thobe

Inspired by my husband's quest to find matching socks for his black thobe, only to realize that he only has navy blue...

Black thobe, black thobe, watcha gonna dooooooo, ah watcha gonna do if your socks are blue,
Black thobe, black thobe, watcha gonna dooooooo, watcha gonna do if your socks are blue,

You thought your socks were gra-aay, but they're not really gray,
Oh, you thought your socks were gra-aay, but they're really blue, not gray, hey hey,

Black thobe, black thobe, watcha gonna dooooooo, ah watcha gonna do if your socks are blue,
Black thobe, black thobe, watcha gonna dooooooo, watcha gonna do if your socks are blue,
If your socks are blueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

This is for LK

I tried posting on your blog but for some reason it won't let me. like at all. I am using Ubuntu now so I am guessing your template is not compatible. I have left comments on other sisters blog but only if the comments page is a pop up. Anyway I wanted to address the extreme living halal story.

I was NOT upset or offended and I got your point although different strokes for different folks as I do have friends who abide by that life style and they seem happier than I am. I guess its all about getting used to things and finding alternatives. I do follow a strict life style and if any of the things you mentioned on your post were present I would have left WITHOUT MAKING A SCENE. I do show up to events that I know will be mixed gender just to support and not break family or friendship ties. However, I don't stay too long.

I don't shop at stores that sell alcohol and I try to shop from ethical stores whether they are Muslim or not it doesn't matter. As a non Muslim I used to shop in ethical fair trade stores anyway so I don't see any difference or reason why I should stop now that am a Muslim.

I do not impose my views or restrictions on other brothers and sisters and I do play by their rules when I am to their events or homes, however, in my house we follow my rules. I think its only fair. I do not negotiate on my niqab though. If they are uncomfortable (which hasn't happened) I would rather not show up and send my gift with someone else. My moms is ok with my niqab and she isn't even Muslim and she would have been the only one I would have removed it for seeing as pleasing my parents is obligatory while wearing my niqab is sunnah. (people can argue but that is my view on the niqab)

I understand that I choose to live the way I live and I am lenient with the people around me. I do shop at the mall but I also don't like staying too long seeing that the markets are the house of shaytan. I go....get what I need and BOUNCE. Before I was Muslim I rarely went to the malls mainly because I was broke all the time and mainly because I wasn't a girly girl and shopping was torturous for me. (although hijabs and niqabs have TOTALLY changed that for me but alas there are no hijab shops or niqabs so I end up shopping online :( )

I don't see a conflict with the way I live my life and the way others choose to. Because I believe in freedom of religion and free will. I don't feel that I am responsible for them nor do I feel that I need to convert them to Islam. I respect other people's beliefs and religion or even their lack of religion but it totally pisses me off when they try to convert me. seeing as I don't do it to them. I give respect so I do expect respect back...when its not forthcoming I distance myself from them and if they are belligerent I cut them off completely. I value my sanity.

My this or that scenarios were just to point out that there are other people who follow a strict way of living and its not just Muslims. For example and recovering alcoholic also avoids places were alcohol will be served or sold. I think that there are A LOT of life styles that we may or may not agree with but it doesn't mean someone else might not like it. There are 6+ billion people in the world one is bound to like something or try it at least once.

so are we cool? are you a deputy of the halal police?

ps. would I show up to a non Muslim event if they served alcohol and pork? Yes, yes I would but I wouldn't eat the pork nor be involved in their serving or drinking of the alcohol and I would stay for a short period and leave. Why? because they don't believe in what I believe and their rules are different than mine. Would I still go if it was in a bar? No I would not.
Would I show up to a baptism? If I was invited yes. Why? because its their religion not mine and I understand my religion. Although I wouldn't participate in any of the religious aspects of their celebration and most of my friends (offline) are very understanding and wouldn't push me to do it anyway. Alhamdulillah.

Life is full of trials, compromises and moderation.

also in enjoining the good and forbidding the bad we also have to do it according to the sunnah and not bash someone over the head with it.
so enjoin the sunnah with a sunnah.

edit: hubs says that he wouldn't go to the mixed events instead he would go the day before the party or a week before the party drop off the gifts make du'a for them and call it a day. Like I said different strokes for different folks.

January 5, 2010

watcha gonna do!

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

yea I got tired of the whole haraam police getting and giving so much headache I decided to act...Introducing

The Halal Police

Halal Police

whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do?
When they come for you?

P.S btw my friend and I came up with parodies for the "bad boys" song and for KRS ones "woot, woot is the sound of the police" but realized that MOST people won't get our humor so we keeping it real...simple.

btw in an unrelated note my friend already had remixed "bad boys" to go something like this...."black thobe, black thobe, watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when your socks are blue" I seriously nearly peed.

Joining Questionable Facebook Pages and Groups SAFETY

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

first I want to say that I am ALL for Muslims banding together and promoting and fostering brotherhood and sisterhood. I think its a great idea. Things to consider when joining a group or a fan page.
  1. WHO is running said page/group?
  2. Do they have an info page and an email you can reach them if you need clarification of their purpose/mission?
  3. WHO is recommending and in essence VOUCHING for said group/page?
  4. WHAT is their intended message?
  5. If my boss/mom/future spouse or someone looking into me sees them, what image am I portraying?
  6. If you are trying to launch your business, will this activity affect you detrimentally?
Why am I asking this? Well because in a perfect world people wouldn't judge us just because they saw something they didn't agree on our page/blog/social media but they do. You might be associated involuntarily to a questionable group just because you decided to be nice and become their fan.

I get A LOT of facebook pages and group recommendations and LOVE IT! However, recently I have been receiving a lot of 'questionable' material to the point that I feel like I am being baited. Like questions that are EXTREMELY controversial even among 'conservative' Muslims and shuyukh. Like this message I received in my inbox
Dear sisters,

In your opinion, what are the reasons for the wave of radical Islam that has hit Europe during the past few months? Is it the result of social factors, religious misunderstandings, or individual circumstances? And would you say that Europe's fear of radical Islam is justified?

Participate with your opinion on the following link:
first of all I have NO IDEA who the heck they are or what they will do with my response. Second of all I don't live in Europe and have no idea how things are there. Third of all I have no first hand experience or knowledge about the topic besides what I get from the news. Fourth of all they have not define the topic and have left it vague enough for some naive person to ensnare themselves in. We all know that just because we are ignorant on a subject does not mean we are going to stay quite (usually) which means WE will get in trouble. Which make these kinds of open ended questions DANGEROUS.

I am not saying we shouldn't have a dialogue about things that are clearly against Islam or of people who are perpetrating violence against innocents. I am just saying there is a time and place for everything and you should at the very least know who you are having these dialogues with. I know my non Muslim readers will be like "what the heck? schizo Muslims" but the reality for Muslims is that we are constantly being watched and over analyzed a simple gesture you might do may entail a cavity search for me. Tis sad but true and therefore it means I need to be more aware of what I say and who I associate with. The whole rebel without cause shenanigans others can pull can mean SERIOUS consequences for me. nuff said.

Another thing that bothered me is that unlike groups where you can see the admins of that group, facebook pages are technically anonymous. I have created ENOUGH facebook pages to sorta figure out who is the admin. It is still more of an art than a science but I have been right the last couple of times. Anyway I got this from facebook's FAQ
How are Pages different from groups?
Pages can only be created to represent a real organization, business, celebrity, or band, and may only be created by an official representative of that entity. Groups can be created by any user and about any topic, as a space for users to share their opinions and interest in that subject. Groups can be kept closed or secret, whereas Pages are intended to help an entity communicate publicly.

Pages also allow people to maintain a personal-professional distinction on Facebook. If you're a group admin, your name will appear on that group, while Pages will never display their admins' names. Additionally, when you take actions on your group, such as posting on your group's wall, these actions will appear to come from you as an individual. However, if you post or take other actions on a Page you own, it will appear to come from the Page.
So when you are joining all these fan pages do your due diligence and make sure they are legit.

Another example, we all know that there are men out there that have fetishes for covered women particularly niqabis. I was looking into two facebook pages about niqab one had over 2,000 members and it turned out that I guessed the admin correctly and she turned out not to be a niqabi but a niqabi supporter mashaAllah. She is super cool. I applied my technique to the second page that has over 4,000 followers and my answer was a dude, 5 dudes to be exact. Which made me start doubting the purpose of that page seeing as sisters are uploading their niqab pictures some kinda sexy and steamy. I could TOTALLY be wrong of course because I tested with my own pages different variables and THERE IS a way you can stay anonymous. I am NOT gonna share my method simply because I will just be telling them how to stay anon. But I seriously have doubts about the intent of that page.

So when JOINING pages PLEASE be careful because they could just be data mining you.

Prayers and Brain Dump

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

About the car accident, alhamdulillah nothing seems broken or out of place just a REALLY sore back. Any-who I wanted to share with you guys that this accident has helped me out with my prayers. YUP. I get TOTAL pain relief when I am doing the motions of prayer (sujuud, rukuu and standing up straight) subhanaAllah. So guess who is the first one praying when the athan goes off? guess who is becoming very committed to her sunan? or to nawafil?
I have been very consistent with my prayers both my obligatory and my sunan but before I used to get that little voice who would tell me "you don't gotta do this, just do your obligatory" well now suck it NAFS!!

You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
And you're not so big

I had dabbled with voluntary prayers before but wasn't much in keeping up with them. Now I am. Also I have been practicing "brain dump" which means that before prayer I take out a little notebook and write down whatever is on my mind at the moment and date them. This way I have less stuff distracting me from prayers. wa salaam!

Ps. if you are hearing voices in your head you might want to have that checked out...am just saying.

January 3, 2010

got in a car accident

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

this cop was parked in between the merge and the lady two cars in front of us freaked and hard braked to a TOTAL stop when she had the right of way and there was NO stop sign. So the guy in front of us rearended her and we slid on the ice right in to him. No one was hurt except me who was flung from the back seat into the back of the driver sit (it has a hard cover). Everything was fine until an hour later when my back started to hurt me. I know feel like when I was 9 months pregnant with the pressure in my lower back. ARGH!

why did I not have my seat belt on? Because we were a minute from where we were about to stop to pray asr. A MINUTE! and because of that I had removed it and was flung like a rag doll. Alhamdulillah my little dude was ok as he is still rear facing. Alhamdulillah!

Shouldn't have counted on being alive a minute later. astaghfirAllah. Please make du'a for me as am hurting like crazy!

January 2, 2010

Abortions and Adoptions

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

Sister Cecilia from My World in Me or My Life My Story posted a link to MTV's show 16 and Pregnant. I am VERY angry watching the show. VERY ANGRY. These kids get railroad into giving up their child by adoption agencies THAT MAKE MONEY ON EACH ADOPTION! OMG! It is SO unethical!


The lies these kids get told specially the myth that with that they have any rights when doing an open adoption. NO THEY DON'T. Once they sign parental rights away they NO LONGER have any say in their child's life.

Open adoption means that the birth mother and adopted family know who each other are. Even in an open adoption, the birth parents' legal rights of guardianship are terminated, and the adoptive parents become the legal parents. There are no guarantees that the adoptive parents will allow contact between the child and the birth parents.[1] In some jurisdictions, the birth and adoptive parents may enter into a binding agreement concerning visitation, exchange of information, or other interaction regarding the child.[2] Far more common are informal agreements, which may change over time as each set of parents' lives progress. As legal guardians, the adoptive parents are responsible for implementing contact arrangements in the child's best interests and hold final decision-making authority.

Open adoption is distinct from open records. Even in adoptions where all parties know the identities of one another, birth and adoption records remain sealed in those jurisdictions where that is the law regarding adoption.


I know that it comes from wiki but I didn't want to go into doing all the legal search but I did enough research before hand to know the REALITY of adoption. Reason for all the research was because I want to adopt and have brought it up to the hubs who is lukewarm to the idea. InshaAllah he will come around until then it is just a dream I foster.

Anyway seeing the show and the agonizing decision they had to make at such a young age is heartbreaking. I feel that women who give up their children to adoption or opt for an abortion do regret their choice. Maybe not always but once in a while in a moment of melancholy and what ifs.

I think adoption is a little easier (in my ignorant opinion) because you can eventually look up your child. I mean the child might not want anything to do with you but at least there is that option to see them later, as selfish as that sounds. Abortion is so FINAL for me its scary.

I still think parents and potential parents should do what they think is best for their child whether it be to keep the child or give them up for adoption. I just feel that they should be FULLY informed and not lied to. If they go into it with the full understanding that they may never see their child again and yet still decide to do it, than that's fine. inshaAllah. I am not going in to the Islamic aspect of all of these as I just wanted to share how I feel about it and am too scared to share something that might turn out to be incorrect. May Allah swt save me and forgive me for ever doing so. ameen.

Another show I watched was Find My Family an Australian documentary show that helps people who are looking for their biological parents or parents looking for their biological children once they are older find each other. I cried through out the whole 5 or so episodes I watched. One adult dude told his mom "I know you didn't hold me when I was born because if you had, you would have kept me." And that was the truth. She didn't hold him out of fear she wouldn't go through with the adoption. I made up my mind that if we ever adopt I will do it Islamically meaning keeping the children's original name and as much information as possible to help them out if they ever decide to find their biological parents. Am sure my heart will break with agony at the thought they might just leave me but I feel it is their birth right. We don't own anyone not even those born biologically. They have all been borrowed from Allah swt and He swt will call them to him eventually. So I intend to get as much good deeds as possible by sponsoring orphans and adopting them.

January 1, 2010

OH NO! and so it begins...

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Peace be with you السلام عليكم

my son just mastered the puppy eyed look. WTH! He is only 14 months old... am so screwed. I was tripping over myself wondering why he looked so sad, ready to pummel whoever it was that put my baby in such a sad mood when he gave me a smile out of nowhere. WTH!!! He was playing me all along. Am so screwed. Am so screwed. Super screwed. I will never be able to discipline such a cute mcCuttie. Ya Allah swt HELP ME!

For all the mamas of cutie pies, how do you maintain your composure?