November 23, 2009

When In Debt or in Financial Difficulty

I was watching a new show called "Bank of Mom & Dad" and its basically about young 20 something women who don't know how to manage their finances and are ruining their lives. Seeing that I am in debt to the tune of 30gs I paid attention hoping to find some advice about how to pay down my debt. yeah. I don't see how the guru is helping these girls unless the show is paying them for some of the debt. That is the only solution I see and this is why I feel that way.

The first showdown is basically the parents trying to guess how much their daughter is in debt for, the daughter writes her amt and the guru actually gives out the exact # and the breakdown. Anyway the second meeting the girls are handed a budget that they are expected to follow and there are tears, wigs and resentment flying all over the place. The amt allocated for paying the debt off is at most $400 a month and told they will be financially independent in 2 to 5 years. How? $400 a month x 12 months in a year equals $4 800 a year. These girls are usually $30,000 and one even had $68,000 in debt. It doesn't seem feasible unless they are getting paid for appearing on the show and that would be nice to disclose to the viewers who are under the impression this new financial road map is all these girls need. *shakes fist at them*

I became heavily indebted before becoming Muslim and that weight is still hanging around my neck and I need to get rid of it (you can read about it here). I have not accumulated any debt since becoming Muslim 3 years ago and I think that is a huge accomplishment, alhamdulillah.

I want to pay my debt on my own because I need to do it for my own self esteem. I got myself in the mess and (inshaAllah) I can get my self out. Plus I must be the example I want my son to be. I want him to be independent and not rely on anyone but Allah swt. Since I have virtually NO income coming in right now I spoke to hubs to see if I should get a job. (he is still looking but having no luck). WHAT A BUMMER. Do you know that more than 1/2 my pay would go to child care? Subhanallah. I had NO idea how expensive it is to pay a babysitter. I don't want to do it. NOPE. NOT at all. I also believe that no one can take care of my son with the patience and love I have for him. Plus all the nanny cams horror stories I heard make me scare to trust someone with my beautiful baby boy.

So in the meantime I have to figure out how to monetize on my other projects pronto. I am currently up to date on my loans and recently received forbearance because both my hubs and I are unemployed and would be unable to make payments.

So please make duah that I can become financially independent and debt free ameen. Here are some duas for those of us tied down by debt.

The following duas (supplications) should be made when in debt or financial difficulty.
اللهم اكفني بحلالك عن حرامك واغنني بفضلك عمن سواك
O Allah, provide me with lawful livelihood, adequate to my needs instead of ill-gotten one, and graciously grant me freedom from needing anything from anyone besides Yourself.

O Allah, the Soother of worry and grief, Granter of the prayer of helpless people, the Giver of mercy and grace in this world and the hereafter,you alone can have true mercy on me so favour me in a way that I may no longer stand in need of the kindness of others.


O Allah, Master of all sovereignty, You give dominion to whomsoever You like and You snatch it away from whomsoever You please, You exalt anyone, You please and degrade anyone You like, all good is in Your hands and surely You have power over all things. O Giver of mercy and grace in this world and the hereafter, You give sovereignty and honour to whomsoever You please and deprive whomever You please of sovereignty and honor. Favor me in a way that I may no longer stand [in need] of the kindness of others.


Kiddy said...

How come your husband is unemployed?

Sarah said...

Salam aleikom,

Ameen to your duaas. Okay now that you've made dua, if you can even donate some money (even if it's spare change)to charity. Allah will reward you, even if it is $1.
A few yrs ago, when I was pregnant, working, and my husband couldn't find a job I donated $2 (not thinking it was much and wishing i could at least give $5) to the masjid. Not even 3 days later a friend of my husbands' came upto him and gave him $200 to help us out, no questions asked. If you can't do that, try to fast if possible.

As for working, what about doing you're own babysitting at your place? you could take in 2 kids plus your own and charge per hour. Interview the parents make sure they will pick up and drop off ON time, also they HAVE to pay you.

NtN said...

InshaAllah ta'ala you can find a way! PS. Put some google adsense up so I can start clicking!!!

the mrs. said...

sis if your husband isn't employed, can't he take over responsibily rather than paying someone? also, maybe you can look into being a childcare provider yourself, that way your son can stay with you. i have many friends that do this bc they want to stay home with their kids, but need the extra income :)

.::Tuttie::. said...

@ the mrs. he went back for his masters and he works a couple of hours here and there so I guess technically he is underemployed.

In order for me to take care of anyone I must go to their house seeing as I live with my in laws.

@sarah, done, done and done.

I am not stressing our finances right now as we are pretty comfortable. Our living arrangement so far works for everyone in the house and my son gets to be with his loving grandparents as much as possible. (no them taking care of my son is out of the question they are way too old and too sick.)

I recently got motivated to pay off my debt as soon as possible and was brain storming how to do that in the shortest amount of time. JazakaAllah khayr for making dua for me though. Things will look up.f they always do.h

Candice said...

I have been thinking so much about debt too. I have a managable debt.8000$ when I started paying it and now I'm at 5000$ or so, but I was semi-forced to take a loan out for my husband's new business idea yesterday... So I'm in an extra 10 000$. BLAH! He's not able to get a loan without my credit (because he's creditless)... Sucks so much.

Sarah said...

salam aleikom , tuttie little steps right? and i know its hard but focus on the greater goal; getting rid of the debt inshaAllah.