October 15, 2009

How I love my Zawj

Marriage does take some work and effort but when you are with the right person life is beyond good and the work and effort is minimal. I am grateful to Allah swt for blessing me with such an incredible husband who has helped me work through the aftermath of my abuse. I am grateful for my immediate in laws because they are so great to me. They don't abuse me, harass me or belittle me. They are always there to help me with my son and they put my hubs in check :) gotta love that. All in all I am very happy with this stage in my life and I need to be grateful to Allah swt so that he may increase my joy, good fortune and happiness.

This is an email I received a while back from a friend of mine that I wanted to share. It's about a sister obviously happy with her hubs.

As salaamu alaykum,
How I love my Zawj

Sometimes women can be so self absorbed thinking of their rights
alone and worried about not getting things done their way, sometimes
we have to sit and reflect on our husbands and how Allah has made
them the providers and maintainers, and how He has made it so that
we are free from that heavy burden.

Thats why I write, How I love my zawj

He wakes up early in the morning to start his day of work downtown
in Corporate America, having to deal with kaafirs and the hustle and
busle of city life so that he can fufill his Islamic requirement to
support his family.

But before he does that he helps me with the kids. Sometimes goes to
the store to pick up needed items.

He calls me, while I am in the comfy home to ask me how my day is
going. When I know he is tired.

He says he likes to hear my voice and it makes him happy to speak
with me during today.

If dinner is not done when he comes home, he watches the kids while
I finish.

He takes the time to teach me the deen, he wakes me in the middle of
the night and quizzes me on what I learned, he makes sure that his
family knows the fundamentals of Islaam.

He works for 10 hours a day to keep us maintained

He comes home happpy and glad to see his family

How I love my zawj

He takes off work to care for me when I am ill.

He stayed home with me for 6 weeks to help me with the new baby.

He does not deny me anything, he gets me what I want, big or small,
to keep me happy. He searches all over to get me little trinkets of
silver jewelry that he knows I will like.

He brings mr African violets, they are my favorite.

How I love my zawj

He works for the masjid and spends a lot of time there dealing with
the affairs of the people

He is patient with life's trials and tribulations

He attends the masjid for all of the salat unless he is ill and
never misses Jumuah Alhamdulilah!

How I love my zawj

He tells me he loves me for the sake of Allah every day

He keeps a neat appearance and cleans behind himself.

He always looks to resolve our differences according to quran and
sunnah before we go to bed.

If I may forget, he recites the quls over me at night

How I love my jawj

He invokes Allah with dua for his family

He loves Allah, the Muslims and the deen.

That's why I: Make Dua for his entrance into paradise and the good of
this world and the hereafter.

I keep a fresh appearance for him, taking extra pains to look my
best when he comes home

Keep the house clean and ready for his arrival

Treat him with extra kindness when he is very tired and train my
oldest child to ask Daddy if there is something he needs.

If I may be upset with my zawj about something I remember that when
he walks out of the door for work, he is doing it for the sake of

But he makes me laugh so I cant stay mad at him long.

I also remember that Allah can call His slave at anytime and I don't
know if that will be the last time i see him.

I am attentive to him and stay away from things he dislikes, I keep
a good selection of friends who don't posses bad characters.

I am grateful because Allah has truly blessed us

Oh how I am so grateful to Allah for my zawj

May Allah keep us in this deen and preserve our marriage Ameen.


NtN said...


May Allah SWT increase their love and respect and deen and make them of the righteous on the Last Day.

May Allah SWT do the same for you and your hubby.

May Allah SWT do the same for all the lovely blogstresses and their hubbies.

May Allah SWT do the same for me and my hubby.



LK said...

Awwwww thats so sweet.

I wish more people could be appreciative of each other like that.

.::Tuttie::. said...

@ noor AMEEN!.

@PK. you are reading too much in to the "term
keep in check" and no my hubs is not violent or with a bad temper. It's just an expression.

artfreakamalia is too lazy to sign in said...

awwww that is just so incredibly cute! ohh my! makes me wanna get married :D jk i'm only fifteen.

AlabasterMuslim said...

Lol tuttie. Your in laws keep your husband in check? omg poor guy. Jk. I understand what you mean, idk why PK flipped out on that.

May Allah (swt) Keep the love between that couple strong and and never waiver, Ameen!

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

What a great piece of writing! I am so happy that you are blessed with a kind and caring husband Tuttie. I was also blessed with sweet husband who devotes much of his energy to me and our little daughter.

Kiddy said...

Frankly speaking I don't like the thought of neither the husband nor the wife being kept in check,because that's control.Sometimes there is even threats involved,a husband or a wife might know something about their spouse that he/she holds over them as a threat and that keeps them a virtual prisoner and therefore trapped in a loveless marriage,that's Modern Day's Slavery like the slavery the African-American people were held in in the south where I reside.I can hardly think of anything worse than being held by someone against my will.But of course Tuttie I am not saying that you are holding your hubs a prisoner and I know now that he is mild mannered and not a violent man.I'm just expressing what the words you spoke mean to me.

.::Tuttie::. said...

no pk modern day slavery is people being trafficked all over the world for reasons ranging from free labor to sex slaves. Slavery exists and a loveless marriage doesn't come close to the abuse and horrors people are actually experiencing.

and no your definition does not apply to my marriage. His parents are his parents and we all need reminders on how we should behave. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Its better to hear it from those who love us as they know best how to communicate it to us. That is what I meant. Your definition does not apply to my situation although I now understand what you meant.

Kiddy said...

How do you know that loveless marriages, or spouses being abused whether males or females are not as bad as modern day slavery?For me to watch an evil Christian wife abuse a husband right in front of his family and friends brakes my heart and is very hard for me to observe.And withholding sex in a Christian marriage is cruel too.I have witnessed both so I know of what I am speaking.

Kiddy said...

Speaking as a Spirit filled Christan, a divorce holds a certain stigma,depending on the circumstance of the divorce,for me it was my husband that wanted it and he had the free will to make that choice,but there may be some devout Christians trapped and being tortured in an abusive marriage that they can't get out of,because God hates divorce.

And what kind of relationship is a roommate relationship, anyway ,in a marriage?And how come you have understanding about that, is the question?

Kiddy said...

Yes,but you don't know a thing about a roommate relationship in a marriage.I don't think it is fair for the husband to be deprived of sex in a marriage,it's very cruel if he is a Christian man and does not want to sin.I doubt that many Christan women are deprived of sex in marriages though.Do Muslim couples struggle the same way,would you happen to know?

ZORRO said...

OMG!!!! ..incredible how one thing can lead to another... it only takes a spark to let go of all those suppressed feelings... Sad.. real sad!!

Iman (Lifes Balance Beam) said...

Wow... um.
GREAT writing!
may allah increase the love in both of ur marriages and all the married women on this post! ameen.

the "wow...um"
was for that conver^
but i wont get started since im all late any ways :D lol

i agree with umm umarNY tho hehe