October 14, 2009

backbiting: holy snap!

recently I started praying qiyam more consistently and then going back to sleep and waking up for fajr. I was told that, that is how it should be done. Anyway I read in one of the blogs I follow (probably hijab chic) a while ago that qiyam forgives sins and helps you abstain from committing sins. I got really excited about that so I started doing it. May Allah swt reward the sister who encouraged me to do it, she probably doesn't even know of the good deeds that inshAllah she will or is receiving. subhanaAllah.
Abu Umama al-Bahili (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him, his family, and companions) said, “Hold fast to night prayer, for it was the way of the righteous before you, a way of drawing closer to your Lord, an expiation for wrong deeds, and a shield from sin.” [Tirmidhi, and others] In some narrations, there is an addition, “And it repels sickness from the body.”
Anyway maybe after the second consecutive day of praying qiyam and talking to a sister and then my hubs that I started feeling really sick. Like my stomach felt nasty like I had eaten something super disgusting and my heart was heavy, kinda like I had lost something. So I turned to Allah swt because I thought I was coming down with something. After a while I stopped feeling sick so I continued along my day (no am not preggers). So this kept happening me feeling sick after I spoke to people OR I would remember previous conversations and I would feel sick and embarrassed. I sat down to analyze what the heck was going on and I realized I was backbiting. It wasn't intentional but in the end it was backbiting in one form or another or the person I was talking to was backbiting and I didn't stop them. AstahgfiruAllah.

So I have made a resolution to stop backbiting in every form. It is scary that I was doing it and I didn't realize it. SO I am starting a NO backbiting commitment. My husband and I will catch each other when we are backbiting (inshaAllah) and we will repent and give in sadaqa under the name of the person we were backbiting. Considering we are beyond broke inshaAllah we will stop before it makes us go homeless. Anyone else wants to join me? I will make a separate post about the commitment and the sins of backbiting, what constitutes it and how you can expiate it.

What is backbiting?

The meaning has been explained by the Holy Prophet himself in 4:183. It is the speaking ill of a man in his absence whether it is true or false. There are several instances of evils spoken in presence of the Holy Prophet which were true but which were termed by him as backbiting (4:193). Backbiting relates to different things-body, pedigree character, deed, saying, religion and worldly affairds (including food, clothing, accommodation and properties). Backbiting relating to the body of a man takes place when one says about another 'squint-eyed, short, long, black, yellow etc' relating to character, such as Negro slave, Jew, Indian blacks, mean etc;
relating to character, such as a man of bad character, miser, proud, haughty, quarrelsome, coward, weakminded etc;
relating to religious affairs such as liar, drunkard, oppression, careless in prayer and fasting, usuary-taker etc;

relating to worldly affairds, such as a man of ill manners, ignorant of other rights, gluttonous, henpecked etc;

and relating to dress, such as a man of long coat, shirts etc

Backbiting is not confined only to Tongue.

Backbiting may be committed by hints, signs, writing, motions and caricatures. In short, all the signs showing evils or contempts or lowering positions of others are unlawful, and their punishment is equal. Writers and authors showing contempt for other writers and authors and criticising them commit backbiting by pen which is considered as more powereful than tongue and mightier than the sword. Backbiting takes place with regard to general people. When a definite man is meant man is meant in heart, the expression should be-

What is the matter with a people who do such and such a thing (4:167)?

To confirm or corroborate a backbiting amounts to the same guilt, and he who keeps silence as the time of backbiting is guilty of the same sin (4:156).

***Remember that backbiting is not restricted to Muslims ONLY. We are NOT supposed to do backbite Non Muslims EITHER.***


LK said...

backbiting applies to everyone is the sense that they should not backbite as well. All people of the book are encouraged not to backbite. Sometimes we all forget because its really only super enforced in Islam.

Women need to be nicer to each other in general lol.

Toush said...

assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. if you go back to sleep before fajr, do you still wake up for the last hour before fajr. the time when Allah descends on the lowest heaven and tells his servants that want to be forgiven, have their dua accepted, prayer accepted, that he will accept it

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

That is so cool that you started having physical symptoms when you would backbite. Its so easy to do and so prevalent in our society. You've given me a reminder, so I will try to leave it for good too, InshaAllah.
God bless you sis.

ZORRO said...

Just yesterday I researched and wrote this "thing" about Backbiting, Slandering and Calumnies.... because of something that happened... and SubhanaAllah may Allah(swt) protect us from these and enable us to rectify our misdeeds!!!! Aameen!!

.::Tuttie::. said...

@habibti. I wake up in the last one third of the night to do pray my qiyam. I was under the impression that Allah swt descends in the last third so inshaAllah my duas get accepted. I don't think duas are only accepted in the last hour. I will do some more research and make a post about it inshaallah.

Toush said...

i dont really know. im asking actually lol. i always thought that the last part of the night is the last hour before fajr. isnt it? i dont really know

Toush said...

i just found this on islam qa
The first and last third of the night differ according to the season. If the night is nine hours long then the time of descent begins at the onset of the seventh hour, until dawn comes. If the night is twelve hours long then the last third begins at the beginning of the ninth hour until dawn comes, and so on, depending on how long or short the night is in each place.

does it mean it is from three hours before dawn. like right now the night is long from 6pm to 5am40. so is the last third at 3am or 2am

so it seems