September 5, 2009

My Shrink: Super Nanny

who would have thunk you could actually learn something about yourself while watching tv? So here I was suffering through my fast because I couldn't sleep after fajr :( so I have been fasting longer than normal (3 hours and some change before iftar...been awake for 11hrs). I go on to watch some tv online, I know bad, but I needed a distraction and you can watch tv from your computer. Back to the story, remember I made a post about wanting more kids whether they be biological or adopted? You can read about it here.

yeah. So I was watching Super Nanny and this woman had 10 children and she is hell bent on getting her dream of 12 kids. In the mean time her husband has developed a severe drinking problem and her older kids are basically parenting themselves and their siblings. Her children are angry at her, she has no trusting relationship with her daughters and the oldest boy (15yrs old) has already had a panic attack and wants to run away (when you have a panic attack you feel like you are DYING, it's no joke). When Super Nanny confronts her about family planning the lady doesn't want to hear it even though her husband is saying ENOUGH ALREADY !

Anyway some kid gets hurt and the mother goes off on the other kids for not taking care of the injured child. I actually lived through that and was forced to raise my brothers plus emotional and physical abuse so I sympathize with the children and then Super Nanny drops me a gem. The mother wants a lot of kids to make up for the pain of her own childhood because she didn't have a mother. Super nanny tells her that she should work to give her children in particular the girls, what she didn't have growing up so that they don't go looking for it in the wrong places or by thinking they could get it by popping kids. CRAPIOLA.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HER
. I DON'T.
Ya Allah save me from those trials AMEEN!

When she was asked why she wanted so many kids she could only say 1) it was a dream of mine and 2) I love kids. CRAP. Took the words right out of my mouth. This episode made me ask myself WHY do I want kids? Am I trying to have a fulfilling life by bringing more life in to this world? Who is going to raise them? me and the hubby or my other children? Is that even fair? No, it isn't. So if I do want a lot of children shouldn't I have a game plan? Like organizations, structure, discipline? What if I die, do I have a will set up so that they are taken care off?

I know things change and we have to adjust to it but like a business plan a family plan should be in effect. Kinda like a road map that can be amended as the situation calls for but is better than just winging it. Forming one also forces the mother and father to face issues before they become emotionally engross in it like discipline. This way they are both on the same page.

Prior to this episode I had read two of CoolRed's post and it made me think about the logistics and reality of having a large family for those interested you can read Part 1 and Part 2. Coolred makes an excellent point, with children come responsibility learn basic first aid like infant CPR. So now I want to know if you live in the states where can you learn infant CPR? I need to learn to keep my son safe and if I am blessed with more children whether biological or adopted then I could at least have a shot at being a decent parent.

If anyone is interested in the super nanny episode I can embed it for you...I originally placed it but I thought it was bad of me to encourage it.

6 comments:

Stephanie said...

Many clinics and hospitals also provice public CPR training (which includes infant and pediatric CPR)... Ask your primary care provider, or better yet, his/her nurse or medical assistant. I am sure they would be able to connect you with a good resource to accomplish this necessary task! -Stephanie

Anti-social Muslimah said...

In my culture big families are normal. People think there's something wrong with my mum because she only had 2 children. I want to have a big family too insha'Allah but I don't think it's because any problem that i've had. I just want my very on football team or soccer to you Americans.

But insha'Allah sis children are a blessing from Allah. So yeah good luck with whatever you do!

muslimah said...

barakAllahu fiki, this post was awesome.
great insights getting it from JO. p.s she is super.


May Allah heal your heart, and still let you be able to nurture and raise kids fisabilIllah.

And dont forget the hadith from rasoAllah about being large in number (aka) the family. Family planning does not need to mean no kids.

HayyakAllah sis xxx

Zee said...

Interesting post! I am not much aware of American TV. But I get what are you saying here. I am not so much into having a big family lest I fall short. I was on tenterhooks since the day I came to know I am pregnant. Will I be able to raise/educate/provide/everything else properly for her/him? Hmmmm...I feel so so so full of responsibility now with my 5 month old son(very very naughty and restless right now...grrrrrrrr). I hope and wish to do a good job InshAllah. Do not want to add a good for nothing piece of meat to the population.
BTW @ firdous..I may sound dumb..what does HayyakAllah mean?..never heard it before..

Zee said...

Interesting post! I get what you are trying to say. I am not so much into having a big family lest I fall short. I was on tenterhooks since the day I came to know I am pregnant. Will I be able to raise/educate/provide/everything else... properly for her/him? Hmmmm...I feel so so so full of responsibility now with my 5 month old son(being very very naughty and restless right now in my lap...grrrrrrrr). I hope and wish to do a good job InshAllah. Do not want to add a good for nothing piece of meat to the population.
BTW @ firdous..I may sound dumb but what does HayyakAllah mean?..never heard it before..

.::Tuttie::. said...

@firdous me too. what does it mean? and JazakAllah khayran for your duas ameen.

@AlabasterMuslim. Nah i don't think you broke your fast. InshaAllah Allah swt forgives you for your transgressions, for the ones you committed publicly, for the ones you committed privately, for the ones you committed knowingly and unknowingly. ameen. May he accept all your fasts as complete AMEEN.

@Stephanie, May Allah swt reward you. That is the obvious and I missed it. AWESOME suggestion and almost fool proof since I trust that group of women.

@Anti-social Muslimah. YUP FUTBOL! GOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL! I will use them yelling GOOOAAALLL for as long as they can as a method of helping them project their recitation.

@zee. i think all parents go though that at the beginning and then you realize that you and your children lives were written before this Earth was even created. so no worries. What will be will be and you can make dua and hope for the best
@Zee

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