July 14, 2009

is it really forgiveness?

from Jrocco

I went through a lot as a kid, I was like the stray dog that gets kicked by the neighborhood because it has no owner, no home, and no one to stand up for it.

After Islam I was actually able to forgive everyone who had ever done something hurtful to me. That gave me closure in a way but the sadness and emptiness they cause still lingers.

Someone said that I haven't truly forgiven if I felt that way. I disagree. Just because someone apologizes and you choose to forgive them doesn't erase the damage they may have done. In my case no one apologized but I chose to forgive them anyway but I still feel the scars from their wounds.

I don't hate them. I don't hold grudges against them. I am actually afraid to be in their shoes. Their day of judgment will come and they will have to answer to Allah swt for what they have done. That is not an enviable position.

Is it truly forgiveness if I still feel the pain?


.::Tuttie::. said...

ws. I meant. That i still feel the sadness of having lost my childhood of having things done to me without my consent. When I have seen the perpetrators I really don't feel any animosity. kwim?

Anonymous said...

forget not